Give Me That Map!

My husband and I travel very well together, especially when he drives and I serve as his navigator. He amazes me. He is completely content to entrust the details of the trip to me. He doesn't even ask to see the map, except on those rare occasions where he suspects we may be going the wrong direction. That doesn't happen often, but once on our way to the beach, we spent the night in Virginia, got up the next morning and promptly headed homeward. After about an hour we realized our mistake and turned around! Generally though, I can navigate my way around anywhere - as long as I have that map.

Turn the tables though and put me in the driver's seat - no way, unless I've got in my a picture in my mind of where we're going.

Lately I've been struggling with some things in my life. Quite frankly, sometimes I find myself arguing with God over my lack of understanding his plans for my life. Today after I finished reading Esther 4 in my NIV Quiet Time Bible, (a great resource because it combines scripture reading with some directed questions for reflection) Jeremiah 29:11 came to mind and so I flipped over to Jeremiah and read the entire chapter, along with the devotional questions provided.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD (Jer 29:11-14a) [emphasis mine]

Hmm. My first thought was to again be comforted by the fact that God knows the plans he has for me. The fact that he does have plans for me should be enough. The fact that he knows those plans should be even more reassuring. But today as I read, it occurred to me that God never tells me that I need to know those plans. I don't need to grab the map and figure things out for myself. Instead he tells me my part is just to seek him. That's very hard for me, a control freak, to grasp. I really think I need a glance at those plans. I could tweak them, make them even better. I could plan ahead, knowing where I'm going. It just makes so much sense to me.

But God knows the plans he has for me. Isn't that enough for me? If I did get a glimpse of those plans, what would I do? I'd no doubt mess them up. And seeing those plans, would I focus more on him? I doubt it.

It's hard for me to just go along for the ride, instead of being in control. But after reading these verses again today, I'm going to try to give up that urge to see the map and focus on the one who "knows the plans." I can rest in the fact that God's plan for me is all good. My job is to simply come, call on him, pray and seek his face.

I hope this isn't being too transparent but I think that's part of what community in Christ is all about - sharing the struggles as well as the victories.