Who Am I, Anyways?

I recently finished one of the best books I’ve read in a long time. I debated about posting a review on this book; nevertheless, I feel selfish not sharing a book that has so greatly impacted me.

In The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery, David G. Benner approaches a topic considered by some Christians to be off-limits. A book on the topic of self-discovery seems to contradict the biblical teachings of dying to self and being crucified with Christ. Rather than promote teachings on self-esteem or an unbalanced idea of self-image however, Benner seeks to help us see ourselves as God sees us. Whether we realize it or not, our image of ourselves is often formed by what we do, or how we feel others view us. Our image of ourselves is just that, an image. Whether we view ourselves through the validation we get from what we do, or through the eyes of others, this image is not the same as who we are. And yet I think so often we are afraid of facing who we really are.

I need to see myself as God sees me. And how does God see me? As an employee? A wife? As a former teacher or wannabe writer? Since reading this book, I’ve come to understand that those are just roles. God sees me, not through these roles, but as an utterly depraved, yet beloved creation of his. I always viewed my sins as separating me from God, but that which I do is merely a manifestation of the real problem – my sinful nature. I feel like even since becoming a Christian, I still try to prove myself to God. That can’t be done because no amount of righteous living can negate the fact that my very nature is flawed.

Understanding this has revolutionized my confidence in approaching God. I don’t have anything to hide. He already knows the ugly side of me. The thoughts I shouldn’t have. The negative attitudes. My shortcomings. The stuff I can manage to hide so well from others. His mercy and grace are so much sweeter. And being real with God is helping me learn to be real with others.

I came away from reading this book with the impression that it’s not “who I am,” but rather “who I am in Christ” that matters. I don’t think it’s possible to deny myself when the only self I know is that which I view through skewed mirrors. When I look into God’s word and see through his eyes who I really am, well, the whole denying self and dying to self begins to make sense.

I’m the kind of person who can approach a book much like I do a smorgasbord; I’m not offended by the foods I don’t like. I didn’t agree with every single idea in this book, but the author has a lot of good things to say and I found it a worthwhile read.