Monday, March 21, 2005

Choices

My sister wrote a poem about me once that started, "Your favorite color must be green . . ." And up until a few days ago, it was true. Until that horrid pastel wishy-washy mint green appeared on my walls. (Okay, I put it there!) In my haste to bring this kitchen project to completion, I almost just left it and moved on. But something in my crazy mind wouldn't let me leave it. I picked a new shade of green yesterday called Pickling Spice, and I absolutely love it. Well, my shoulders and arms are screaming at me for putting them through this again, but I made the right choice.

And that's not the only choice I feel good about today. In recent weeks, I've become convinced that I need to heed the call I heard 30 years ago when I decided to be a teacher. Wow, has it been that many years? The road back is exceedingly long and filled with obstacles, which is why I've put off this decision for ten years.

It all starts with my having attended an unaccredited school, and, shame on me, never trying supplement my degree at all or pursue certification. I'm about done being bitter and full of regret over a past I cannot change. Doors are opening (not without a bit of effort on my part) and I don't want to let another decade end with me looking back at missed opportunities. So the last week I've been busy requesting transcripts, filling out college apps, looking for loopholes which might make my degree worthwhile and applying for several certifications.

This week I plan to do something that takes every last bit of nerve I have - apply to some local Christian schools as a substitute. I just have visions of them looking over my transcripts and laughing at the gaping holes there.

Instrumental in this decision has been a great book called "Behind the Stories," a collection of stories of God working in the lives of different Christian authors. Although the book focuses on those blessed with the gift of writing, the author emphasizes the underlying truth that we are all endowed by God with certain gifts. It's only when we're using those gifts for His glory that we find fulfillment.

I still feel like writing will be part of this journey in someway. Perhaps it will provide the means to leave a good paying job and start from scratch. But in a way, I've never felt more fulfilled than when I'm encouraging some young person to follow their dreams. Maybe there's a budding writer out there who just needs some encouragement. All I know is I'm ready to quit resisting God's leading, eager to follow and see where He leads.

3 comments:

Michael said...

I can attest to God and paths.
He let me run off on a side trip even after saying no. But being God, when enough was enough, he gentled led me back to the right path.

Katrina said...

Oh, I was so excited to read this. :) I just wanted to let you know that I will pray for you as you find your way back to, and then forward on, that path. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

daisymarie said...

How courageous you are to follow your dream. I hope that you find favor with the Christian schools and that doors you didn't anticipate being open be opened and welcoming to you!