Satisfying Service

"Every time you do something that comes from your needs for acceptance, affirmation, or affection, and every time you do somehting that makes these needs grow, you know that you are not with God. These needs will never be satisfied; they will only increase when you yield to them. But every time you do something for the glory of God, you will know God's peace in your heart and find rest there." Henri Nouwen

There was a huge emphasis on ministry at the Bible college I attended twenty years ago. Literally, we had to report weekly on how many persons we witnessed to, how many accepted Christ, etc. You were required to do some kind of outreach for at least an hour every week, and witness to at least one person per week. Not unreasonable I suppose, except that the Holy Spirit seemed left out of the picture.

On most Saturdays, the majority of the students would participate in what was known as the "Bus Ministry." Any other ministry was for deadbeats. Bus ministry workers rose early on Saturdays and Sundays and spent most of the weekend in the inner city, visiting with less privileged families and encouraging them to ride our buses to church. We were out there for 4-5 hours on blustery days when the temps were barely above zero, as well as torrid summer days when our pantyhose clung damply to our legs like a second skin. We had big days where several thousand people rode these buses for over an hour to attend church. Buses would break down en route to or from the city, stretching 8 hour days into 10 or 12.

It was hard work. Especially during finals week when you should have been studying to pass the classes you were paying for. Especially during conference weeks when you volunteered for hours on end, in addition to your ministry obligations. Yet the bus ministry consistently numbered over 1000 student workers. Why? I honestly think it played, unbeknownst to us, upon our needs for acceptance and affirmation. As tired as you are, the thought of a little child looking up to you was strong enough pull to drag yourself out of bed on the weekend.

I still enjoy working with kids and teenagers. I still enjoy being involved in ministry. But since that time, I've come to realize that it's possible for me to do ministry for God out of entirely selfish motives - to fulfill my personal needs for acceptance or affirmation. The approval of others is so much more tangible than God's approval. The problem with having that as our motivation is that we're never truly satisfied in our service. But as Nouwen says, when our motives are right, when our eyes are fixed on Him alone, when to glorify God is our only desire, His peace will satisfy like nothing else can.