Sad News: Madeleine L'Engle dead at 88

I was deeply saddened today to learn that Madeleine L'Engle passed away yesterday . She was one of those authors I read as a child and enjoyed as only a child can. I began rereading her fiction several summers ago and loved them in an entirely new way. Then I began delving into her non-fiction, starting with A Circle of Quiet. It's a semi-autobiographical recounting of her life, interspersed with her deep insights and perspectives.

The thing I appreciated most about L'Engle was her childlike awe and humility. She never confessed to know or understand everything; in fact she was not afraid to voice her doubts. I think that's pretty amazing in this world where what we know (or think we know) seems to hold rank over everything else.

I recently shared this quotation from A Circle of Quiet with someone. I'm pretty sure it's been one of the most influential things I've ever read. I can't say it has changed me, but rather that it's changing me.

"When we are *self*-conscious, we cannot be wholly aware; we must throw ourselves out first. This throwing ourselves away is the act of creativity. So, when we wholly concentrate, like a child in play, or an artist at work, then we share in the act of creating. We not only escape time, we also escape our self-conscious selves. The Greeks had a word for ultimate self-consciousness which I find illuminating: *hubris*: pride: pride in the sense of putting oneself in the center of the universe. The strange and terrible thing is that this kind of total self-consciousness invariably ends in self-annihilation...

"... I was timid about putting forth most of these thoughts, but this kind of timidity is itself a form of pride. The moment that humility becomes self-conscious, it becomes hubris. One cannot be humble and aware of oneself at the same time. Therefore, the act of creating—painting a picture, singing a song, writing a story—is a humble act? This was a new thought to me. Humility is throwing oneself away in complete concentration on something or someone else.". ...that special kind of creative courage which is unself-conscious: the moment you wonder whether or not you can do it, you can't."

Rest in peace, Madeleine L'Engle.

Reading Ramblings

I'm not sure quite when it began, but I've long had a passion for the written word. My mom will tell you I was reading at three years of age. I can't vouch for that but I do remember the huge cardboard cards she put around the house to get me started with sight words. When I was in grade school, I remember excusing myself from the table right after dinner and hiding out in the bathroom with a book! When she and I went to Ireland back in 1990, I swear we took 2 changes of clothes each and a suitcase full of books! I sneak out at work on my lunch hour (which is technically only 30 minutes), head for the parking lot behind the local Krispy Kreme and indulge, not in a "Hot Now" donut but in whatever book I have at hand. And to this day, I actually get slight heart palpitations if the day draws to a close without having had time to read!

I'm often more drawn to a book because of the author than the subject. I enjoy learning about the authors' lives, and will often try to read through several of an author's works before moving on. I'm a "cover to cover" reader; I enjoy every single page of a book, including the copyright page, prologue and especially the bibliography. I read one book recently which, although it was a good book, had no bibliography. The author chose to just quote his sources right in the text. I found that left me hanging a bit. In my opinion, one good book should lead to another.

I can tend to start too many books at once though and come up shy of finishing them. My friend Katrina has been hosting these reading challenges; the fall one is just around the corner. They've been a great way for me to discipline myself to finish more books. Last year I started keeping track of what I read here on my blog. And recently I discovered Shelfari, a really neat way to keep track of what I've read, what I'm reading and what I hope to read as well as see what other people are reading. If you get a chance, hop on over and check out my "shelf" and if you create one, feel free to add me as a friend so I can check yours out!

Over the past few years, I've come up with a few rules for myself where reading is concerned:

1. I borrow books when I can. This can be a drag when it comes to non-fiction, because it's really not appropriate to write in other people's books! That means I have to take notes. Which can turn out to be a good thing in the long run.
2. When I do buy a book, I must finish it before I can buy another. I can start another and I can borrow others, but no more buying until I finish what I've bought. That is precisely why I'm stuck on Founding Mothers right now!
3. I've been trying to write a review on all the non-fiction I read. I don't always get around to posting them here or on Amazon.com but I find I actually read better when I'm thinking of how I might share what I'm taking in.
4. Four, although it's an even number and even numbers are evil, seems to be the magic number for me - four books at a time. One by my bed, one in my bookbag or purse, one by my chair in the livingroom and the odd one here or there.
5. If the book's just not working for me, I'm not afraid to put it down. Rule #5 even supersedes Rule #2. Life's too short to read a really bad book!

And after this entirely too long and boring post, I'll bet you're glad I don't have comments enabled! And now I need to go . . . you guessed it . . . read!

Love That Surpasses Knowledge

Ephesians 3:17-19 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I'm still working my way through Ephesians. What a rich book! I especially love the prayers Paul inserts for the believers. Did someone ever pray for you and you just felt blessed from head to toe? That hugged feeling perhaps? That's how I feel when I read Paul's prayers, and they also help shape my prayers for others.

But one phrase stopped me in my tracks this morning. I'll confess, it may have been the English teacher in me, questioning something. Paul prays that the believers might first of all be rooted and established in love. He then goes on to pray that they might have power to grasp the breadth of Christ's love. Power? Power to understand love? Why not wisdom or understanding? Why power? Power and love? How do they go together?

The Message puts it this way:

. . . you'll be able to take in with all Christians the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

We naturally associate power with action. But love is to be associated with action also. Paul probably understood our tendency to let love get hung up in our heads. He reminds us that this love of Christ is a "love that surpasses knowledge." It has to be that way, expressed and lived out. And that takes a supernatural power, something that is not of ourselves.

God, empower us today to grasp this great love of yours. It's not something we'll ever be able to get our heads around. Help us to live deeply in your love and, having lived in it fully, to live it out amongst those around us.