Unfinished Work

Goodbye Blogger!

2008-12-11T08:55:00.005-05:00

Unfinished Work is moving. Some glitch has been preventing me from uploading images to Blogger. And as we know, a picture is worth a thousand words, so I figure 1 picture = 4 or 5 posts. You see my rationale here? Because I obviously haven't gotten far with the 82 posts currently in draft.

A while back, I set up a blog on Wordpress but never did much with it. I decided to resurrect that one and was pleased to find Wordpress easy to navigate and much enhanced since a year ago. So I invite you to check out my Wordpress blog, and don't forget to change your links and subscriptions if you want to keep up with me (like I'm going somewhere fast!)

The Art of Seeing

2008-12-09T18:43:00.000-05:00

I recently visited a blog I haven't checked in months and found this cool post where she (a photographer) goes on a field trip of sorts. She posts pictures of herself and her "peeps" (her words) traipsing around a cemetery and then out to dinner. I loved the picture of them all at dinner, cameras aimed towards their plates!

Several thoughts ran through my mind as I viewed this post:

It's all about seeing, isn't it? More and more, I'm convinced, in that respect, that living is an art unto itself. How we live our lives, how rich and full they are, how we interact with others, how we dream and strive to achieve our dreams - much of it boils down to our ability to see.
So what are you looking at? What are you passionate about seeing?
I think of some people as "eye-openers" - opening the hearts and minds of others to God and his world. Parents, teachers, pastors and mentors I think fall into this category. And then there are the problem-solving types - those who see a problem and delight in seeing a way through it. And then there are "see-ers" - those who simply open up the world as they see it to others. Any other kind of seeing come to mind?
Seeing is best done in community! Sometimes community may be others who see in the same way you do; other times, it's community who simply appreciates your vision, and shares theirs in return. Really, without community at some point - what's the point?
And lastly, seeing involves stopping, doesn't it? Maybe it's stopping to refresh yourself so you are fit to see again for others. Or stopping because you can't otherwise focus on the picture. Or stopping afterward to think about what it is you just saw and really take it all in.

I hope you'll check out my friend Sharon's art, her way of "seeing." Take a few minutes, scroll around and enjoy a view of the world through her eyes! I hope it inspires you as it did me.

Anticipation and an Advent Listen

2008-12-04T11:51:00.007-05:00

I'm going through a great little Advent devotional this year entitled Simply Wait: Cultivating Stillness in the Season of Advent. Actually, I ordered it last year but got it too late to enjoy much of it. For this first week, the focus is on the word anticipation, a sense of expectant waiting.

So what I'm wondering is: what do you do to get into the spirit - the waiting spirit that is? Is there anything you do that helps you settle down and get past the commercial fluff and angst, and be reminded of what this season is to be about?

And another Advent question: is it just me late to the party (as usual) or are you finding an increased interest in the celebration of Advent as a major focus of the holiday season? Until about four years ago, I don't ever remember hearing of such a thing. Do you think (as I do) that it's a reaction to the emptiness many people are coming to acknowledge that has overshadowed Christmas? Or have you always celebrated Advent?

Anyways, here's my one thing: I found this CD by City on a Hill several years ago and it's the first and only Christmas music I listen to until around December 15th, which is when I get around to decorating. Actually it was the artwork that first drew me to it, and the music, a selection of songs by Christian artists Sara Groves, Caedmon's Call and others, never fails to satisfy.

If you have an MP3 player, you could easily download these tunes from Amazon or iTunes. There will be plenty of time for the traditional holiday tunes and carols; I think you'd find this a heart-stirring and delightfully uplifting change of pace.

Eyes to See

2008-12-02T12:01:00.003-05:00

Something about this video touched me deeply. It's worth five minutes of your time and I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Christmas, Surreptitiously

2008-11-27T23:59:00.001-05:00

For years we've battled, Father Christmas and I, each trying to get a jump on the other. Some years I've beaten him to the chase, compiling Christmas lists and plans in January and February (yes, I can be a bit crazy-proactive at times!). Shopping and crafting in June, July and August. Wrapping in October and November. And feeling free to decorate, bake and hide out in December.

Other years, he's had me and he knows it. He starts with that crazy Christmas-in-July stuff. He picks up steam in October, slipping bits of red and green amidst the peaceful calming colors of fall and peeking out from behind the Halloween costumes. (In fact, I suspect that may be why those Jack-o-Lanterns grin at me so eerily). The day after Halloween, he goes full throttle with the Christmas ads, commercials, and cheesy holiday donkey songs. The Salvation Army guys, bless their hearts, don't help much, what with their tinny-sounding trumpets belting out Christmas tunes in wacky syncopation with their bell-ringing. It's enough to make me want to hide out for the duration.

This year, I confess, I'm further behind than ever, if being ready for Christmas is measured by the number of cookies baked and presents bought and wrapped. And yet, I feel surprisingly more prepared than ever. Not ready as in " gotta-get-my-house-in-perfect-order - company's-coming." Not hardly. But ready, as in willing to turn my eyes to the mystery of Immanuel. Ready, as in anticipating the season. Ready to embrace the One who came to save us from our sins. Ready to be reminded of the joys of giving - not things, but self.

Last year our church challenged us to approach the season differently, with a series entitled Advent Conspiracy, based on some suggestions presented by this organization. This year we're doing the same. I peeked at the website and have been totally taken with this year's theme: Give Presence. When it's all said and done, isn't that what matters most? That the Holy One of God came to dwell in us and among us. And really, what better gift can we offer others than the gift of our presence? Something in me loves the idea of conspiring against the status quo (take that, you sneering Jack-O-Lantern!) No, I won't do Christmas perfectly. But in my heart I can honestly say "bring it on!" Or better yet - Come Lord Jesus!

(Disclaimer: the Father Christmas image is used here merely in jest - I'm a firm believer in St. Nick actually! Oh, and I like to think I got a jump on the old geezer by posting this prior to Black Friday!)

The Luxury of Trash

2008-11-24T20:50:00.005-05:00

I cleaned out some closets over the weekend. I always feel sooo good when I do some major purging. This time, I didn't get rid of so much but in years, months past, have hauled away entire black garbage bags filled with clothes and "junk." But it was still good to consolidate, get rid of some empty boxes, etc.

I couldn't help thinking back to "trash day" at Gram's house when we were kids and for many years after. You see, practically everyday was trash day because out in the country, folks burned their garbage. Every other day or so, Gram would haul a little bag or two down to the burn pile and light a match to it. Only once did she manage to set the entire field on fire, but in a farming community, even that was somewhat acceptable as a way to prepare a field for planting. When my family moved next door to Gram in 1978, we used an old 55 gallon drum to burn our trash but still, it was years before we ever had sanitation services out there.

Trash management was certainly different just thirty years ago. What little couldn't be burned was usually recycled. Glass jars were used over and over again. The use of plastic for just about everything was not yet widespread. Clothing was worn out.

This wouldn't work for most people today because our trash heaps contain so much more than could be burned up easily. Some people have mountains of garbage out every week for trash collection. And we can and do throw almost everything and anything away, without thought for where it will end up. It's a luxury almost, isn't it? That in the first place, we can afford to throw so much away. And in the second place, that so much garbage is acceptable.

I'd consider myself only light green in terms of living an environmentally responsible lifestyle. I don't compost. My recycling efforts are meager at best. I'm sure I've disposed of some batteries improperly recently. But thinking about all the trash I generate is at least helping me reconsider why if I really need this or that in the first place. And I figure, maybe it's a start!

How about you? Got any [thoughts on] trash to share? Have you ever thought of garbage (disposal, etc.) as a luxury?

Music and Meditation

2008-11-20T22:09:00.002-05:00

I've been using Pandora to listen to music at work. I can't choose the exact songs I want to hear but I get good variety within a genre and it's been a great way to be introduced to "new-to-me" artists. Recently I realized I could bookmark songs I really like, and further realized when I viewed my bookmarked music, I could easily download those tunes via Amazon (or iTunes). Yippee! 17 new songs! (Sorry, I am not an iTunes user so I can't offer you an iMix, and I can't even snag a list to post here).

So that's the music part. Now for the meditation. Yesterday morning I was blessed to spend a few hours at a nearby retreat center. I knew I wanted to spend some time in the first few chapters of I Samuel, in the story of Hannah. A book I read a few years ago had some guidelines for a retreat based on this story. Tonight while walking at the local rec center, listening to my new music on my MP3 player, I found myself still considering my reading from yesterday. And the coolest thing happened. Song after song seemed to reflect thoughts and prayers she might have had. And I was able to totally immerse myself in Hannah's story through the music.

This has also been the case as I've been listening to Charlie Hall's new CD, Bright Sadness, and especially the song New Year. I've also been reading through Colossians lately. Part of the lyrics of the song New Year remind me of how deep and full Paul's joy must have been, in contrast with his life as a mission of hatred before he came to Christ:

My heart beats like a drum, flying up with the sun,
I grab your hand again.
Renovated with life, my eyes again bright,
And you are radiant.

Where hope can hold my hand of sorrow,
and we can walk into tomorrow. . . .
This is a new year, this is a new day to rise,
Shine, and point the way to God's great life.

Both of these experiences have given me another way to appreciate the power of story in Scripture, as music has given these Biblical characters a whole new dimension for me. I love how God always finds ways like this to get through to my heart.

So I'm curious. Are there any worship songs that help you live more deeply into the stories in Scripture? How does music play into your worship?

Word of the Week: Okay!

2008-11-17T18:27:00.001-05:00

Did you ever wonder about the origin of this word? I have, ever since my high school English teachers insisted it was not a word. Apparently in Boston newpapers circa 1830, it was fashionable to reduce a phrase to initials, with an explanation in parentheses. The abbreviations were sometimes purposely misspelled, to add to the humor. OK was used in 1839, short for all correct - the joke being that neither the O or K was correct. And there's the story that President Martin Van Buren's nickname was Old Kinderhook, which lent itself nicely to his campaign slogan!

So what does "okay" mean for me?

It's a bridge between acceptance of and embracing change. It's that point where I'm not exactly loving the changes, but I know things are going to be okay.

It's when things don't look exactly like I (or others) think they should but I remember God is nevertheless in control.

It's when I can leave work almost on time, with a pile of things left to do, knowing it will be there tomorrow. Or knowing that, in spite of what seems like a horrible mistake, things will eventually be alright. Somehow a solution will be found and life will move on.

It's that place where I can breathe.

I'm not talking about passivity here. My sister used to accuse me of being passive. Because little things like losing my keys (we found them in the sofa cushions in the lobby of our apartment bldg. a week later) and never having gas in my tank (hey, we'd just use her car) didn't bother me. I think I've come to realize much of my passive nature was really just avoidance of the truth. Okay is not denying truth or looking the other way, but moving towards acceptance.

So what are you "okay" with today? What does "okay" look like for you? Is it a good word for you, or one that denotes something negative?

My Letter to President-elect Obama

2008-11-15T08:11:00.005-05:00

I came across Barack Obama's new website and left this message on the contact form. There is much more I'd like to say of course, prayers I'd like to offer, etc. But this was my one thought in response to his address of the current economic situation:

Congratulations, President-elect Obama, on your historic victory. My one sincere hope as you face the economic crisis head-on is that you will remind Americans what WE can each do. It is time for us, and okay to, all tighten our belts a little and realize that our actions affect others. WE have all contributed to the situation we are in now. WE can all contribute to change, no matter what our individual social and economic situation is. My greatest dream and prayer for your administration is that you will instill a sense of community and responsibility among the citizens of this nation. There is something WE can each do and we don't have to wait on the government to do it all FOR us. WE can and need to be empowered, not by someone doing it all for us, but rather by an example of leadership that inspires us all to what is right and best, not only for ourselves but for one another.

I am hardly a political junkie. I pretty much said so here. But I can't help feeling a slight sense of awe at the workings of democracy that we saw transpire a little over a week ago. I've never written to a president before. I know my thoughts will probably never cross his desk, nevertheless it was kind of fun.

So what thoughts would you like to express to the incoming administration? Why don't you visit the website and do so? And then offer the prayers on his behalf that he is surely in need of.

Book Review: The Truth About You

2008-11-11T19:49:00.004-05:00

I'd heard of Marcus Buckingham only recently, so I jumped at the chance to review one of his newer books, The Truth About You.

In a nutshell, Marcus Buckingham is all about playing to one's strengths, encouraging readers to listen to and move in the direction of that which energizes us. First, he says, we must identify our strengths, a strength being more than just something we're good at. A strength can be any area where we feel success, are drawn to do instinctively and/or are challenged to grow. Once readers have identified strengths, he challenges us to look for roles (career and otherwise) where our strengths will be welcomed. And lastly, he explains how to mold career situations to our strengths.

The Truth About You is an easy-to-read approach to some of life's tough questions, i.e. "what am I supposed to do with my life?" This nifty little book includes an introductory DVD (which I highly recommend watching first), a neat little memo pad for jotting down strengths, and places throughout the book to record strength statements. This would make an excellent gift for a college student or recent graduate just about to enter the work force. But anyone contemplating a career change would benefit from this book. Buckingham's passion for helping people live into their strengths shines through clearly, and his engaging style (not to mention his delightful English accent) makes it an enjoyable and worthwhile read. Preview the book here and see for yourself!

Word of the Week: Qualifications

2008-11-11T11:58:00.001-05:00

It's funny how God chooses to get my attention. I would like to hit myself over the head sometimes; he instead is loving and gentle, meeting me right where I am. I love when he chooses to show up in my reading and learning and listening. That's the way it's been with this word, qualifications.

I'm sure I'm not alone in doubting my qualifications. I've struggled with this, my perceived lack of qualifications, over the years. The other night I was reading several selections from Glimpses of Grace, which is a collection of writings from various Madeleine L'Engle works, and this word kept leaping out at me.

"It is nothing we can do, in this do-it-yourself world. It is gift, sheer gift, waiting there to be recognized and received. We do not have to be qualified to be holy. We do not have to be qualified to be whole, or healed."

"In a very real sense not one of us is qualified, but is seems that God continually chooses the most unqualified to do his work, to bear his glory. If we are qualified, we tend to think that we have done the job ourselves. If we are forced to accept our evident lack of qualification, then there's no danger that we will confuse God's work with our own, or God's glory with our own."

"To trust, to be truly whole, is also to let go whatever we may consider our qualifications." (All quotations from Walking on Water: Reflections on Art and Faith)

And this morning, reading in Colossians 1, verse 12 jumped out at me: and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his people in the kingdom of light.

Slowly but surely, God is enabling me to loosen my grip on this thing, and amazingly, replacing it with something too precious for words. Surely that's enough for me!

Just Sharing

2008-11-10T15:41:00.001-05:00

I shared some thoughts over here and here recently. I really enjoy Five Minutes for Books and am appreciative of the opportunity to share some thoughts with other bibliophiles.

Book Review: The Five Dysfunctions of Team

2008-10-29T12:48:00.002-04:00

I read The Five Dysfunctions of Team last week at the request of a friend from church in preparation for a meeting. It was a quick read and I finished it in the better part of a day (thanks to my ability to read while driving!) Patrick Lencioni is known for putting leadership and business principles in parable format. Hm, does that remind you of anyone?

In a nutshell, this is the story of Kathryn Peterson, a mid-career executive who takes the helm of a struggling software company. Having experience some rapid growth early on, as was the case with many of the Silicon Valley start-ups, Decision Tech finds itself unable to consistently reach sales and revenue goals and is thwarted in its hopes of going public. Enter Kathryn. For the first few weeks, it is business as usual, as she merely observes the company in action. Everything changes with her announcement of several off-site meetings for the executive team.

I was surprised to find myself entering into the emotional tension of this story as Kathryn faces conflict head on, and seeks to instill a true sense of teamwork among her direct reports. The story moved quickly through these critical dysfunctions that she identifies to her team via whiteboard and some team building exercises. The last chapter of the book steps away from the story and reflects on each of the dysfunctions and how they were addressed.

What surprised me is how I was able to see my own fear of conflict fleshed out in a story setting and how lack of trust has kept me from moving ahead in many areas of my life. I was challenged not to thwart in any way any team dynamics in which I play a role. I also realized how helpful it is to view my own marital relationship in a team setting. What is more important to me - my own personal security or the goals of the team? I would highly recommend this book to anyone on any kind of team, and hopefully that includes all of us!

P.S. I see the author has a new book out on the topic of family. I can't help but think I'll be reading more of this guy's work in months to come.

Word of the Week: Lockstep

2008-10-24T12:49:00.001-04:00

Lockstep:

A way of marching in which the marchers follow each other as closely as possible.
A standardized procedure that is closely, often mindlessly followed.

I know, it's been a while. I should explain that this is the word for THIS week, and that there may not be a word next week or the week after. But this week this unusual word jumped out at me several times and I just had to stop and think about it. The first usage was in the political sense, as in "I used to be a lockstep Republican" (quoting from the example I read). The second instance was in a corporate setting.

So I'm wondering, is being "in lockstep" ever a desirable quality? I suppose some would say that we want to be in lockstep with Christ. But even there, looking at the gospel stories, I can't exactly see that's what Christ had in mind. I can picture him, trudging up the dusty road and turning to see his disciples marching in tightly ordered sync behind him. Perhaps he might say something like, "You guys are too close!" And then, relieved and free to be themselves, I see Andrew dallying behind to talk to a little boy about his lunch. I see Thomas scratching his head, a million miles away and deep in thought. I see Peter running ahead, forging out opportunities.

I desire to follow Christ as closely as possible. But I am also coming to learn that he longs for me to follow him as who he created me to be and who I am becoming. In becoming more fully who he intended me to be, am I not becoming more like him? I so long to break rank and move into the freedom that is already mine.

Round on Both Ends

2008-10-14T22:11:00.005-04:00

What's round on both ends and high in the middle? Ohio, of course! Ohio has become our favorite little getaway place over the past eight years. While many people head for Lancaster, PA or upstate New York or even New England at this time of year, Mike and I can be found sneaking off to eastern Ohio, a mere two hour drive.

We pass on the bed and breakfast spots, opting for the local Hampton Inn (our favorite), with it's inviting hot breakfasts and indoor pool and whirlpool. We rely heavily on the literature stocked in the hotel lobby and plan our course based on one of the local maps. With almost guilty pleasure, we traipse around the Amish countryside, putzing along behind horse drawn buggies and young'uns on bicycles, oblivious to the mileage we're racking up (I think we did an almost sixty mile loop yesterday). We love exploring places such as Roscoe Village and New Philadelphia and discovering little gems of restaurants tucked away off the beaten path. When in doubt, I agree with Rachel Ray: ask the locals!

I think what keeps me coming back here are the town scenes, with their white-sided houses neatly lined up behind sidewalks, shops you can walk to and folks out on the front porches being neighborly and all. Mike on the other hand always has his eyes open for good fishing spots (and good restaurants)! Between the two of us, we manage to get our money's worth out of a few days in a simple place. Our visits usually coincide with our anniversary and my birthday and so are an extra gift we give ourselves.

Too Good Not to Share

2008-10-09T08:53:00.002-04:00

I've been enjoying some new music lately and it's just too good not to share. A true worship experience is how I'd describe Charlie Hall's new CD, The Bright Sadness. I'm the kind of person who likes the whole experience, so I've been blessed as I've read some of Charlie's thoughts behind the title of the CD, as well as the artwork. I get my money's worth out of a CD; I've had this for a little more than two weeks now and I'm still pretty much stuck on the first 2 songs. If you get a chance, do yourself a favor and check it out.

Oh and, on my way to work today I saw this great bumper sticker: Read Books, Not Bumper Stickers! Literally, I laughed out loud, knowing that for some people, bumper stickers may be the heaviest reading they do. Oh, what they're missing!

(So you're wondering . . . am I back? I'm not sure. This post just didn't fit the criteria I've set for myself on my other blog. But like I said, I couldn't keep it to myself any longer!

Change of Venue

2008-06-17T00:01:00.001-04:00

I was going to title this post "Going Dark" or perhaps "Thanks for the Ride." But a change of venue is really what I'm after, although how that will play out is beyond me. Change of venue implies the show will go on, just not here, not now. And it's God's show anyways - something I'm becoming increasingly more aware of on a daily basis.

So for the time being, I'm hanging up the blogging shoes. It's not where I want to be or what I want to be doing right now. And if I do it, this is not how I want to be doing it. It took a week at the beach to come to this conclusion but just one day back to come to peace with that decision.

It really has been great. Thanks to all of you who've stopped by and read. To those who've taken time to comment both on the blog and in person, and especially those of you with whom I've enjoyed some great email exchanges, my deepest appreciation. You know where to find me.

So this is my last post here for now but so as to not make an abrupt departure, I'll leave things as they are for a few days. Blessings!

Beach Reads and Then Some

2008-06-15T13:50:00.017-04:00

We'll start with the "then some." A good friend loaned me Friends for the Journey a few months ago which I fully intended to savor on vacation, the way anything by Madeleine L'Engle should be enjoyed. But my willpower was lacking and I devoured it in two days the week before we left. In this "spa for the soul," Madeleine and her long time friend, poet and publisher Luci Shaw share journal entries, reflections and poetry in this celebration of friendship. It's one of those books that invites you to just soak in the grace and goodness of the gift of friendship.

I headed to the beach with only five books in tow, in addition to my Bible. Big mistake - what was I thinking! I finished the first book, Plain Truth, in two days. As usual, Jodi Picoult tells a compelling story, this time centered in an Amish community dealing with the murder of a newborn infant by its young unwed Amish mother. Defending the naive but strong-willed Katie Lapp was the last thing high-powered attorney Ellie Hathaway wanted to do when she escaped to Lancaster County for some rest and refreshment. Readers are quickly drawn into the budding relationship that ensues between the attorney and her client, as Ellie struggles to understand the Amish way of life as it relates to sin and crime, truth and confession. Intriguing characters and a subtle surprise ending made for a fast-paced easy read.

On my pastor's recommendation, I checked out The Organic God, by Margaret Feinberg, from the library but quickly realized it was one of those books I wanted to mosey through. So I purchased it from Amazon and toted it along. In each chapter, Feinberg explores a different attribute of God - amazingly wise, outrageously generous, abundantly kind, etc. Her insights are interspersed with stories of her life in Alaska and reflective scriptural insights. The end of the book contains some "Rainy Day Reflections" - questions and scriptures to ponder in depth. I'm pretty proud of myself for still lingering in Chapter 2!

In This Beautiful Mess, another pastoral recommendation, Pastor Rick McKinley reminds readers that the kingdom of heaven which Jesus came to establish is right here and now - already but not yet. Great book but not exactly beach reading! I mean, it's hard not to feel uncomfortable about the waste and over-the-top luxury one sees at a major tourist site when you're reading about people passing out sandwiches to the homeless of their city. This was an easy but thought-provoking read that left me with more questions than answers.

Monday night I realized I was about out of reading material (the other books were a writing book and another thought-provoking one I just wasn't ready to dive into yet) and so we hit Books-A-Million where I found Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I hate to pay full price for a book but there wasn't much on the clearance rack that interested me. Then I picked up Peter Jennings: A Reporter's Life for just $5.97 - what a deal! I think this one warrants a post of its own, but suffice to say this was one of the best books I've read in a while.

It sounds like I did little else on vacation besides read, but since I get up around 6:30 or 7:00 a.m., I was able to get a few hours in before we hit the beach . . . where of course, I read some more! Besides, that's all you really wanted to know about my vacation, right?!

Four

2008-06-03T22:39:00.005-04:00

WE HAVE A WINNER! Congratulations Viv!

To the first person who leaves a comment with the correct guess as to the significance of the above title, I will send you a 2 CD set of Steven Curtis Chapman: Greatest Hits and Now and Then. I'll give you a hint: the answer is right in front of you and has only a little to do with Celebrating the International Year of the Potato (who knew?!)

Guess away! I'll post the answer on Friday and mail out the CD set after I get back from vacation.

The Value of Desire

2008-06-03T17:55:00.002-04:00

There's a friendly little competition ensuing between a few kids in our town (Pittsburgh) and some guys up in Michigan. Some little thing called the Stanley Cup - go figure. Last night was supposed to be the curtain call - the obligatory last song and handshake before the Pens went home in defeat.

It was not to be. Sid and Co. wanted it too badly. Enough to hang on through triple overtime, a forty some minutes of grueling effort by the kids on skates, not to mention a bit of nail-biting suspense for anyone who stayed up to watch the whole show. They reached deep inside themselves to pull off a spectacular victory, the kind that sends chills up and down your spine, or - if you're a fan of the losing team - just leaves you with your mouth hanging open in disbelief!

No matter how the series plays out, the Pens have reminded us what can happen when you really want something and put your heart and soul into making it happen. They given us one of those rare gifts, the reminder of the power of Desire. Desire inspires, doesn't it?

So, what burning desire lies within you? Who fans the flame of desire in you?

Packed!

2008-05-30T13:14:00.001-04:00

I know you were all wondering so I'll just clear things up right now. I am almost completely packed and ready to go on vacation. I know, we're not leaving until a week from today but nothing like being prepared, right! Why so early? I have no clue, I just don't like to leave things till the last minute.

I don't know HOW you parents with kids do it though. This year we are taking the dog. I am not thrilled in the least about having to tote extra "stuff" for MacGyver. (not thrilled with taking the dog in the first place but agreed to give it a whirl - I hope I don't end up giving HIM a whirl!) I hate toting stuff period. I have already whittled down from 3 suitcases (1 big, 2 small) to just the big one and one small one, for our overnight stop. And that's not bad, considering we have to take our own linens. But yeah, now I have to pack toys and a snuggle sack and food and food bowls and oh my! How much does one little dog need? I nixed the doggy water wings!

This is almost my ideal vacation, a week at the beach alone with my husband. My true ideal vacation: a week in New England, with nothing to take but jeans and a sweatshirt and a camera. What's your ideal vacation? Have you ever traveled with your pet?

Do You Need Anything?

2008-05-27T21:43:00.002-04:00

That was the question I asked my aunt the other night when I went to see her at the hospital. She had been there visiting her sister and stopped by her doctor's office to inquire about her leg, which was red and swollen. Her doctor admitted her on the spot, thankfully, to be treated with antibiotics intravenously for a few days. So I was concerned that she might need something or want something from her home. No, she assured me. She was quite fine.

Amazing! She had a toothbrush in her purse, a sweet roommate, and the care and concern of people who love her. Oh, and coffee! And with that, she was content. I've been thinking about this all week. How content would I be if I found myself hospital-bound on a moment's notice, with nothing more than a toothbrush?

Probably because our church has been going through a series of messages on giving, my heart was ripe to reap some personal understanding through this little incident:

Stripping away our superficial wants allows us to attend to the deeper needs of our souls. What is it I really need? Do I even know? Patience. Humility. Endurance. Discernment. None of which can be easily bought.
Contentment and generosity seem to go hand in hand. If I'm less focused on "wants," and trusting that God will supply what it is I really need, maybe I can be more in tune to and looking for ways to meet the needs of others.
When we do engage in generous giving, are we attuned to the true needs of others? The challenge given by our pastor has been to look for ways to share our time, talents and treasure. Sometimes I find I am most selfish with my time, but for someone like my aunt, that's the greatest gift I can give, spending time with her.

Just some things I've been mulling over lately. I'm happy to report my aunt is home from the hospital, doing well and blessed us with her presence at our family gathering this past Sunday. She is a beautiful woman who exemplifies true contentment and a generous spirit.

Ruminations and Ramblings

2008-05-22T21:23:00.002-04:00

Sharing: I have started using Google Reader's sharing feature to highlight some interesting posts I come across in the blogosphere. Check out the links in my sidebar; it just might be one of your posts!

Classic Indy: Went to see the new Indiana Jones movie this afternoon. What can I say - it was classic Indiana Jones! Sure, we all know people don't go around swinging from vines, that giant moving obelisks are just a figment of imagination and that no one could possibly withstand all the head blows Harrison Ford has endured as Henry Jones Jr. over the years but give me a few bars of "da da-da-da, da da-da-da . . . " and for two hours just about anything goes! If you get a chance, go check it out.

Cleaning: Finally, a day off and some time to tackle some things I've managed to put off for months. Back-to-back company plans this weekend are a good motivating factor.

Vacation: Two weeks from today we leave for the beach. We haven't been to Myrtle Beach in about five years so we're looking forward to it. Our goal is to play as much miniature golf as we can - I think MB has about the coolest courses around. We are taking our Boston Terrier, MacGyver, with us for the first time. This should be interesting. Already I envision HIS stuff taking up over have the room in the car (and I'm really a minimalist so this goes against my basic nature of liking the car nice and empty for traveling!) Any tips regarding vacationing with a pet would be much appreciated!

Memorial Day: I get Veterans' Day. In the past, when I was off on Veteran's Day, I liked to visit a memorial at a local library and greet and thank some of the vets. Memorial Day, however, seems to be obscured by our enthusiasm for the beginning of summer. In fact, many people today don't even know the reason we observe Memorial Day. Do you do anything to observe Memorial Day as far as its original intention goes, i.e. to honor the memory of those who have died in service to our country? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Quick Meme: My sister recently joined the blogging world, and just did her first meme - Things That Make Me Go Eeew! If you get a chance, pop on over and read her list (and take a look at my beautiful nieces and nephews!) I had to think hard about this one but here are a few things that creep me out - I guess I have a pretty strong stomach.

Mouth stuff. Don't need to see the neat pictures of the inside of my mouth at the dentist, thank you very much.
Underwater life, with the exception of mammals like whales and dolphins. Don't know why but sea life (even confined to a tank at the pet store, unless it's under 2 inches long) has always creeped me out.
The sound of someone barfing or hacking makes me feel like I could puke.

Book Review: Mudhouse Sabbath

2008-05-20T07:50:00.005-04:00

A few months ago I read a fabulous book by Lauren Winner, Mudhouse Sabbath. A follow-up to her equally interesting memoir, Girl Meets God, which chronicles her journey from Judaism to Christianity, Mudhouse Sabbath is a reflective look back at some of the Jewish practices Lauren realizes are missing from her new life.

One of the chapters that impacted me most dealt with the importance of hospitality. More than just inviting others into our homes, Winner encourages us to open our hearts and lives to others as well. She gives the example of how reluctant she was to invite others to her small apartment, and the reality of what she was saying by her reluctance to do so:

"We are not meant simply to invite people into our homes, but also to invite them into our lives. Having guests and visitors, if we do it right, is not an imposition, because we are not meant to rearrange our lives for our guests - we are meant to invite our guests to enter into our lives as they are. . . . So you see, asking people into my life is not so different than asking them into my apartment. Like my apartment, my interior life is never going to be wholly respectable, cleaned up and gleaming. But that is where I live. In the certitude of God, I ought to be able to risk issuing the occasional invitation."

This little book reads somewhat like a devotional, emphasizing the intentionality integral to many Jewish customs such as prayer, fasting and Sabbath-keeping. As well it explores ways to honor God where aging, mourning, and the celebration of marriage are concerned. While both Girl Meets God and Mudhouse Sabbath stand alone, it makes sense to read Girl Meets God first. If you could only purchase one of them though, I think Mudhouse Sabbath is a keeper.

The New Chew

2008-05-16T17:38:00.003-04:00

I figured out what's been keeping me up late so many nights! I've been eating chocolate covered espresso beans. So if you stop by my desk at work, and see some wet coffee beans in the garbage can . . . well, I figured out I can have my chocolate, and a good night's sleep too! (Yes, sucking the chocolate off and spitting out the beans - brilliant, huh!) Really, I should just switch to Raisinets - they make wonderful dark chocolate ones now!

But hey . . . if you stop to see me at work, just take me to lunch and skip the garbage can part!!

Filling in the Gaps

2008-05-13T19:45:00.003-04:00

When I think of filling in the gaps, many pictures come to mind. If you live in Pennsylvania, where the state activity is avoiding pot holes, you're ever grateful for the days PennDOT smiles on you and fills in the gaps on the roads you travel. I think of meals I've planned and invited friends and how thankful I was for whatever it was they brought, filling in the gaps in the menu. I think of my seasonal shopping efforts, trying to fill in the gaps in my wardrobe.

Mostly however, I think of relationships and God's direction. I'm amazed at how God uses people to fill in the gaps in our lives, the right people at the right time. And how he goes before us, filling in the gaps in our path. With each step of certainty we take, there's some uncertainty that lies ahead, but God is always faithful to show us that next step.

This phrase "filling in the gaps" has been on my mind so much lately. And just tonight I was looking back through my journal from this time last year and was surprised to see this phrase used several times in one particular entry. What a cool God-thing! Last year, I was thanking God for the way he was filling the gaps in my life, mostly through people, and over the past year it's been evident that he's been going ahead of me, making my way smooth (not necessarily easy but clear).

Recently however, I've been praying for God to fill in the gaps in others' lives, to go before them and make his ways apparent. For those in transition, that God will see them through this season and that they will trust that God is standing at the door, ready to welcome them into the next season of their lives. For those in a place of decision, that they will have clarity and discernment for the road ahead. For those in relational struggles, that God will bring along the right people to offer love and encouragement. And many more whispered prayers that can barely find words, but once again, God fills in those gaps too.

I love that nothing about our journey through life escapes our great God, not even the tiniest pot hole!

The path of the righteous is level; O upright One, you make the way of the righteous smooth. Isaiah 26:7
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16

Spring Cleaning

2008-05-12T09:15:00.001-04:00

It's become my practice over the last year to just sit with this prayer most mornings:

A Prayer in 'The Middle Years' of Opportunity
from Celtic Daily Prayer (based loosely on a passage from Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh)

Lord, help me now to unclutter my life,
to organize myself in the direction of simplicity.
Lord, teach me to listen to my heart;
teach me to welcome change, instead of fearing it.
Lord, I give You these stirrings inside me,
I give you my discontent,
I give you my restlessness,
I give you my doubt,
I give you my despair,
I give you all the longings I hold inside.
Help me to listen to these signs of change, of growth;
to listen seriously and follow where they lead
through the breathtaking empty space of an open door.

This morning, I asked myself (and God) the hard question: what is it that is cluttering my life? Not surprisingly, I realized that much of what clutters my life are the intangible things. Fear. Anxiety over the silliest things. Mental to-do lists. Even some dreams perhaps that are left over from another time in my life.

And what would it look like to organize myself in the direction of simplicity? This phrase just speaks volumes to me. Organizing reminds me that these are steps I can take. And direction reminds me that there will always be room for improvement - it's movement not arrival that should matter to me. And simplicity - a picture came into my mind of open space. And again, not just in the tangible realm, but where my relationship to God is concerned. Room to move and grow and listen. Freedom to give and share my life with others.

As spring vaults into full bloom and we turn our attention to matters of spring cleaning, perhaps it's a good reminder for all of us to look inward and tend to some decluttering of our heart spaces.

Mighty To Save and Miscellaneous

2008-05-09T09:10:00.001-04:00

Been listening this song this week that we sang in worship last week. Our pastor put together an iMix for our current worship series and so far this is my favorite. I kind of get stuck on one song at a time; you may have noticed!

Mighty To Save (Hillsong)
Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus

And feeling like I had some major hurdles to overcome this week, I was reminded of this verse from Psalms: With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. (Psalm 18:29)

By the way, is this May? Just wondering because I'm still wearing my long sleeve shirts and jeans. My toes were wondering too . . . they'd like to get out and enjoy the sunshine . . . I told them there hasn't been much of that!

Road Closed

2008-05-05T09:49:00.002-04:00

As I traveled to work this morning, I was less than thrilled to find a major road leading to the interstate closed. Some warning would have been appreciated. I felt trapped, as both the detour and the alternate way I chose were backed up to a stand still.

I was reminded of an interesting little book I read last week entitled Let Your Life Speak, by Quaker author Parker Palmer. I borrowed it from a friend and read it so quickly (on my way to work several mornings) that I didn't even stop to jot down any notes. Nevertheless one chapter came to mind this morning as I pondered my traffic options. It was called When Way Closes, and basically dealt with the idea that closed doors can be as much a guide and direction as are open doors, if we're paying attention.

When we were kids, growing up in the country, we'd often watch the neighbor's sheep at dinner time race down the hill. There was no shepherd, not even a dog to guide them. Instead they bumped along the path created by the fence, and were directed into whatever pasture the farmer wanted them to go by means of his closing certain gates. They were guided along the path by the closed gates.

Eventually I made it to work this morning, and did so with a new perspective, to pay attention to closed doors and detours as guides directing me forward along the path, rather than trip-ending obstacles.

How do you feel when a door closes or when you're faced with obstacles? Do they set you back or challenge you to move ahead?

Art and Beauty

2008-04-29T20:25:00.001-04:00

I had to take my car to the shop the other day to get an estimate on some body work I need done (IMHO a little unnoticeable ding but to my husband, an embarrassing eyesore!) The estimator spent about 15 minutes explaining my options to me, waving his hands over the car as he did so. You could tell he enjoys his work. As I was pulling away, I noticed a tech getting ready to pull a wrecked car into the garage. And I wondered if he looked at that car as a kind of blank canvas, or ugly lump of clay, just waiting for him to draw out the beauty.

Later that week, I was in a meeting at work where several members of our accounting group were explaining some of their processes to our group of sales and customer service personnel. I swear I saw their eyes light up as they elaborated on what seemed to be tedious and mind-boggling procedures.

And that got me thinking, I wonder if everyone sees beauty in what they do, if they view their work as art. Or is that reserved for certain personality types?

For me, beauty emerges when things work together properly. When I can have a hand in that, all the better. When words line up as they should, to draw forth a picture of what is most true, that's beautiful to me. When I'm cooking and ingredients come together just right, and flavors marry well, that's beautiful to me. I don't often find this in my day job, although occasionally, when I'm working on a big project that requires a lot of creative thinking to pull things together, I get a glimpse of beauty in a very odd sort of way. Back in the day, I used to do quite a bit of artwork - mostly calligraphy, sign lettering, some graphic design and a bit of watercolor and pen and ink work. That, although art and enjoyable, was not necessarily beauty to me. Why? It usually didn't involve much creativity.

How important is beauty to you? How do YOU perceive beauty? Do you feel compelled to create beauty, or are you content to just enjoy it? I ask, mostly out of curiosity, wanting to get a glimpse of how others view work and life. Is your work beautiful or do you find it elsewhere? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Connections Missed and Made

2008-04-27T21:31:00.008-04:00

Like a pair of bookends, my weekend was caught between two missed connections. A friend and I were supposed to meet Saturday morning. At 8:35 am at Panera, I had a feeling something had gone wrong. My friend is punctual and organized and (at least to my knowledge) not the type to be running late. And I knew in a flash what happened. She went to the Panera near my house while I went to the one near her house. (I missed that little detail in the string of eight or so emails it took to arrange our get-together!) With the exception of 45 minutes missed, we ended up having a good time catching up. Lucky for me, she's a good blogging friend, so we keep in touch that way too.

This evening, I headed for the local gym to meet a friend from church. On my way, I heard a pop and that annoying sound like someone just let the air out of my tire. Ooops! I had run over a piece of metal and just like that - there went my hopes of a walk, while I sat and waited for the motor club guy to come bail me out. For once, I didn't even have a book with me - a rare occasion for which I gave myself a sound thrashing!

In the middle was time spent with my parents, my sister and her crew to celebrate my dad's birthday. I was tickled pink that my baby niece let me hold her . . . we think she must have confused me with her mom - what do you think? (As is our unintentional habit, my sister and I showed up dressed alike - white t-shirts and denim capris!)

Friends to miss and family to love . . . I guess it doesn't get any better than that.

The Story of Jack and John

2008-04-25T02:47:00.002-04:00

Jack went to work one day. He wasn't feeling so well. He excused himself from a meeting and went to his office. A co-worker went to check on him and found him dead of a massive heart attack.

John wasn't feeling so well either. He mentioned this to his doctor who ordered some tests. John had a stress test and a heart catheterization which indicated the immediate need for major bypass surgery.

Jack was a much loved co-worker. He was 59 years old. Over a year later, he is still greatly missed.

John is my dad, a much loved dad and grandpap. We will celebrate his birthday tomorrow, a little over a month after his bypass surgery. He is slowly but surely recovering and enjoying life again without chest pain.

We are amazing creatures. God has wired us in such a way that when something is not right, our systems alert us. Just like emotions can inform us (something I am learning a lot about), so our bodies let us know when something is awry. Pain, fatigue, etc. - are all signals something might be out of order. Are we listening? Are we too busy to listen to what our bodies might be saying or are we just afraid to hear the painful truth? The truth being that we are limited, finite creatures and every breath is a gift from God of which there is no guarantee of another.

Soooo . . . are you listening to your body and what it might be saying to you? As well, are you helping those you love listen to their bodies and what they might be experiencing? For the sake of those you love, and those who love you . . . LISTEN!

(My dad and his new buddy, Buttons! Happy Birthday, Dad. Thanks for listening!)

Obsessions, Passions and Addictions

2008-04-23T21:32:00.003-04:00

So I'm reading along in that great classic by Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones. And she has this chapter on writing about our obsessions. Because, as she says, whether we acknowledge them or not, they're part of us. Some of them, the main ones, probably have power over us and may emerge again and again in some form, be it in our writing or just our everyday living. So rather than deny them, she says to write about them. I don't think she means to write entire books (or even blog posts) about them, but just to get them out. Acknowledge them head on. In getting them out, you can probably put them to good use.

Immediately I started making a list, right there in the book. The first thing that came to mind was coffee (I was in a coffee shop as I read that chapter). Can one be obsessed with coffee? I don't think it's exactly an addiction. I drink mostly decaf and don't get the jitters or headaches associated with a caffeine addiction. But most days, one of the primary things on my mind is where and when am I going to get a good cup of coffee. Ideally it's at home. But that doesn't always happen. When I went away in February, I thought I would die - when you travel with a tea drinker and an "anything goes" coffee drinker, you know your chances of a good "cuppa" are slim to none. I swear I felt a little panic set in, but perhaps that was associated with my utter dislike of airports and travel in general.

Another obsession of mine is about as pathetic. Socks. I love socks. But socks must match - period. It's probably a hangover from Bible college days when casual dress meant a long denim or khaki skirt, socks and tennis shoes (over pantyhose - we were not allowed to go without!) I guess the best thing I had going for me was my socks! My poor feet have been cringing in embarrassment all day because my socks are navy blue and my jeans are black.

This was a fun line of thinking to explore. What are my obsessions? My addictions? My passions? Have I clearly defined the difference in my mind? What do I dwell on, subconsciously as well as consciously? Where's my heart? Am I giving anything power over me that belongs to God? Lots of good journaling fodder!

Funny, when I went on retreat in April, the coffee thing didn't cross my mind. Which tells me obsessions don't have to possess me. Tomorrow maybe I'll wear two different color socks, just to psyche myself out!

Word of the Week: Dwell

2008-04-20T18:00:00.001-04:00

Dwell: to remain for a time; to live as a resident; to keep the attention directed upon>dwell on my fears> (m-w.com)

So we're back to WOTW posts and this word just drew me in this week. It's one of those that rolls around on your tongue and makes you wonder how in the world it ever made it's way into the English language. It's rich and multi-layered.

I love that God throughout history has always sought to dwell with mankind. From the garden to the wilderness, from the temple to the Babylonian captivity, till Jesus came and "moved into the neighborhood" (John 1:14 MSG), and now through the presence of the Holy Spirit, God wants to be with us. And yet, he has done more than just take up residence among us. Not only does he want to be with us, his thoughts are toward us, dwelling upon us! We are the apple of his eye.

It occurs to me that it's possible to live somewhere and yet not really be there. You can live in a house but not make it a home. You can attend church without being church. You can be in a relationship without being fully engaged in it. You can profess to be part of God's family without being rooted and experiencing growth. Am I truly dwelling in, am I present in each and every relationship and situation God has ordained for me? Or am I merely taking up residence?

One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:4

Four Bucks, Four Bucks, Four Bucks!

2008-04-18T06:32:00.009-04:00

* Updated. I won! Two bucks, two bucks, two bucks!

I've had good luck buying clothes off eBay, believe it or not. Usually because I'm just looking to fill in a gap in my wardrobe . . . white blouse, black jeans, etc. I stick to the 3 L's (Land's End, LL Bean and Levi) and just check for the item in my size.

So I was thrilled to see a Land's End khaki skirt in my size with a starting bid of just $1.99. The same skirt new would run about $39. What a deal. Being the generous, lavish soul that I am, I figured I'd bid $4.00. Four bucks, four bucks, four bucks. With shipping, that would bring the total to $10, which suits me just fine.

Now I have bid competitively on eBay for a few things. You know, where you sit and try to outbid someone down to the wire. I think I've done that twice. But I'm not a very competitive person. Usually I stick to Buy-It-Now items, or I enter my max bid and am done with it. Whatever will be, will be . . . let the bids fall where they may.

But for some reason yesterday I checked back on my bid. I really wanted that skirt. I'd be willing to pay a little more perhaps. Wonder if anyone else is looking at it? I'm so glad I looked. You won't believe how much I bid. Not $4. Not $40.00. Not even $400.00. Nope - I bid $4000.00 for a used skirt! Yikes!

And do you know what I did? Those of you who know me will not be surprised at this. I laughed. That's right, I laughed. Sometimes that's all I can think to do when I've done something really, really dumb.

When reality finally sunk in, I figured I'd have a hard time explaining this one to my husband, and I better start trying to remedy the situation. I sent off a frantic email to the seller, pointing to my 100% rating and begging for mercy. Then I figured out you can actually retract a bid on eBay in these kind of situations, so long as you rebid immediately. Whew!

Like I said, I almost always get great deals on eBay!

When I Am

2008-04-17T06:00:00.000-04:00

And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain." Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?" God said to Moses, "I am who I am . This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' " Exodus 3:12-14

When Moses asked God for references so he could save face in front of his fellow Israelites, God did not reply with an impressive list of accomplishments. He did not remind Moses that he had created the universe, formed the earth out of nothing and fashioned man from mere dust. He did not parade the animals in front of him or give him a science lesson about the propagation of fruits and flowers. God did not feel the need to explain his background, nor did he tell Moses of all the wondrous works he planned to do. He simply said, "I AM."

How different from my tendency to constantly polish up my resume, mental and otherwise. Something happens however, as I learn to cease from my strivings and just be . . . when I am confident in God's love, living in the shadow of the cross, content with who I am and trusting God for who I am becoming. There is always time to do, to write, to speak, to serve. But if these don't come out of who I am, they are futile efforts, like trying to hurl a dandelion globe into the wind - they come flying back into my face.

We are not "I AM" - that belongs to God alone. But we are "I am," and understanding the essence of who we are and who God created us to be and just resting in that truth has to be the foundation of all we do.

Staying With the Questions

2008-04-11T19:02:00.006-04:00

This past Sunday evening the retreat began with dinner, an opening session followed by evening prayer and then the "great silence," in which we were challenged to just be quiet for the night. Quiet for me meant not calling home, and avoiding the urge to dive into the one book I brought along, just because I think I have to be reading every spare moment! I noted in my journal about some tension I'd been experiencing and about which I was hoping to get some answers during these few days. Not tension as in stress, but that kind of tension that leaves you feeling pulled, often between two good things.

Wouldn't you know it, the next morning that was the topic of the first session - tension! (I never thought about all the tensions ministry leaders experience - between being and doing, truth telling vs. image management, etc.)

Needless to say, my heart perked up at the word "tension." Aha! Thank you in advance, God, for the answer. I'm all ears. Oops! Not quite. There wasn't an answer per se but rather a third way - the way of grace that comes with discernment. A challenge to stay with the questions. To be with the tension in God's presence. The creative tension, the leader referred to this as.

I can't tell you how world-rocking this was for me. I'm not exactly comfortable with questions. I want answers. But coming to understand that God is in the questions - well, I kind of want to be there.

I've been intrigued by this idea of questions vs. answers lately and recently started going through the book of Genesis, underlining questions. The first three questions God asks are rather revealing: Where are you? Who told you you were naked? What is this you have done? It was through these questions that God spoke to mankind about the truth of their situation. Jesus continues with the question approach throughout his ministry. So it makes sense to me to learn to welcome questions and even be able to ask them of myself.

Solid Places

2008-04-10T08:05:00.002-04:00

I'll tell you a secret. Even though I am a person who loves order, much of my life has been lived in disorder. You know - the squeaky wheel syndrome. Whatever squeals the loudest generally gets my attention. Trying to keep it together but not always managing where it matters most, in my soul. I have this mental image of myself as a would-be trapeze artist of sorts, mostly swinging about in mid-air, always grasping for that solid place, something to hold on to. Lots of holding my breath in between. Lots of flopping onto the net below. Hardly artistic!

But as I think more about trapeze artists, their art is centered around those solid places. The beginning platforms, those swinging bars or the outstretched hands of their fellow artists. Never getting off the platform would be pointless. Always hanging on to the bar would hardly be artistic. And the gravity factor makes constant hanging in mid-air impossible! The beauty of trapeze work is actually centered in the rhythm of grasping and letting go. And that's the way I want, I need, my life to be ordered - around solid places that are as much a part of faith as the day to day unknowns.

So what does this look like for a person who never plans to leave solid ground? I think for me it boils down to being intentional about some familiar Christian practices. Instead of acknowledging them as merely good ideas, realizing they need to be the bedrock around which my days revolve:

Silence - making a point to just sit and be quiet for a few minutes most mornings before I head off into the fray, even before I open my Bible.
Midday prayer - stopping in the middle of the day to spend a few minutes in prayer, usually written prayers. Because in the middle of the day, I really can't focus as well, it helps to just pray through the same psalm or other form of written prayer.
Evening review - taking time, as often as I remember, to just pause and think about the day before I drift off to sleep. A while back I read where a parent uses these three questions with his child at the end of the day: What was good about your day? What was hard about it? And where was God in this day? Somehow just pausing at day's end to look back and be thankful for God's presence seems to tie my days together a little better, helping me remember that God is the one who ordains my days.

Establishing healthy life-giving rhythms such as these was the focus of the retreat I participated in over the past few days. I had previously done a bit of reading on the topic, especially in two books by Ruth Haley Barton, who facilitated the retreat: Invitation to Solitude and Silence and Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation. So this was a great experience, time to put these rhythms into practice for an extended period of time and to consider how to continue to integrate such rhythms into my life.

Off the Page

2008-04-05T14:42:00.005-04:00

"Off the page" is the phrase that comes to mind to describe what I've been experiencing in my life lately. Think three dimensional. Think comic strip characters brought to life on the big screen. Off the page and into real life. Think John 1:14: "the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us." And think 2 Corinthians 3:2: "you yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone."

What am I talking about? God keeps bringing people into my life who are living "off the page," so to speak. Living out the word of God in a real and powerful way that is speaking volumes into my life.

It's not like I haven't always had people like this in my life. My mom, for example, has consistently lived out her faith in such a way that has inspired both my sister and me over the years. I think the difference perhaps is that God's just been working over the soil of my heart, loosening up some very hardened ground and creating an increased sense of receptivity. The popular song lyric "open the eyes of my heart" comes to mind.

I think for the first time in my Christian life I'm starting to understand and appreciate the importance of community with other believers. I'm by nature a pretty private person, so it was easy for me to take the concept of a "personal relationship with Christ" to an extreme! But I'm learning that growing together is the way God meant for it to be. Yes, as some of us were discussing this morning, the commitment to growth is my responsibility. Only I can say "yes" to God and take that next step. But God really doesn't intend for that to happen in a vacuum. Again - nothing new here - except that I'm finally coming into awareness of this truth. Blogging has been instrumental in this awareness, in creating a safe space for me to share and in the sense of community it has offered, and so I have to thank each of you for being part of this journey over the last few years.

I'll be away for the next few days on a retreat of sorts - as opposed to the more or less private retreat I did last year, this will be more of a group experience. I don't exactly know what to expect but I'm quite excited about this opportunity. I would greatly covet your prayers that I will be open to God's voice and direction during this time, and that I would appropriately respond to his invitation to live life "off the page."

God of Our Yesterdays

2008-04-02T15:17:00.001-04:00

I've been reading a great little book by Chris Tomlin called The Way I Was Made (thanks MC!) I think it was geared towards either youth or would-be worship leaders but God has spoken volumes to me through this little book. And who'd think a singer/songwriter would have such a way with words, but for Chris, the words seem to flow as easily on the written page as they do through his powerful music. Anyways, one chapter towards the end encouraged me to stop and ponder what God has done. Chris asks, "Can you look back along the road of faith and see how God has graciously worked in your life?" And I had to say, although I don't jump up and down about every stage of my life, realizing and remembering that God has been with me every step of the way does make me want to jump up and down.

And then on my way to work this morning, this song by Matt Redman came on that just reminded me that the God of my yesterdays is still very much at work in my life today.

God of Our Yesterdays
We were in the darkest night,
And wondered if our eyes would ever see the light,You were there, Lord,
We were in the storm again,
And wondered if we'd ever live in peace again,
You were there, Lord,
You were there is the struggle,
You were there in the fire,
You were there all the time.

Praise you, the God of our yesterdays,
Praise you, the God who is here today,
Praise you, our God, as tomorrow comes.

So whatever lies ahead,
Whatever roads our grateful hearts will come to tread,
You'll be there, Lord,
And we will fix our eyes on you,
And know that there is grace enough to see us through,
You'll be there, Lord,
You'll be there is the struggle,
You'll be there in the fight,
You'll be there all the time.

Praise you, the God of our yesterdays,
Praise you, the God who is here today,
Praise you, our God, as tomorrow comes.
We thank you for grace in our yesterdays,
We thank you for peace in our hearts today,
And thank you, our Joy, as tomorrow comes,
We will trust you, God.

You're always closer than we know,
Always more involved and in control,
We will trust our lives to you,
The One who was, and is, and is to come!

Praise you, the God of our yesterdays,
Praise you, the God who is here today,
Praise you, our God, as tomorrow comes.
We thank you for grace in our yesterdays,
We thank you for peace in our hearts today,
And thank you, our Joy, as tomorrow comes,
We will trust you, God.

When All Else Fails

2008-03-28T14:56:00.010-04:00

A friend asked me why I hadn't been posting lately. The short answer - I got nothin'. Lots of drafts, nothing finished. Like soup, still simmering. La de da and you really don't want to know all the thoughts running through my brain on that one right now (actually they've kind of burrowed their way into my heart I think!)

In the interim, till I come up with something worth sharing, here's a hodgepodge of stuff - a lone flower poking it's head up through the thawing ground, just to let you know I'm still alive!

How's this for a great quote?

Earth is crammed with heaven,
and every common bush afire with God
but only he who sees
takes off his shoes. ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

My dad had quad bypass surgery last week. Although it seemed kind of sudden, looking back we can see God's perfect timing. He is doing well, thanks to my mom's wonderful care.

My dad is getting a new best friend . . . a Yorkie puppy! My mom read somewhere that people, men especially, who own a pet, have a much greater life expectancy. And voila! They're getting a dog! I just thought that was so sweet and can't wait till we're called upon to dog-sit! Here's a picture of Sir Buttons!

The other morning I awoke to a terrible surprise. My favorite morning show that I always woke up to was GONE! (That would be Gary and Beth on 92.9 FM for you 'Burghers!) Gone. Just. Like. That. I remember about 17 years ago the same thing happened . . . Dusty Rhodes hosted a great morning show on what is now WORD FM and one morning he was just gone.

Yesterday my friend went to get us coffee at lunch and ! our favorite place (Caribou Coffee) was no more. Just like that! Is it me? Reminds me of that terrible year in which my doctor, dentist and ob-gyn all quit. They were kind enough to send me letters at least. The coffee shop just closed.

On the topic of going out of business, what do you think when you see this happen? I hate to see it happen but I always think to myself - hey, at least they started something! How many of you have started your own business? Oh yeah, that reminds me - I have! (Really . . . I just need to get busy with it!)

Did you know that traditionally Easter is/was celebrated by the church as a season, not just a single day? Kind of makes sense, doesn't it? I mean one day people see Jesus hanging on the cross, his body bruised and bleeding beyond recognition. Days later he is walking amongst them, talking and eating with them. Do you think they went on living life as usual the day after the Resurrection? So why should we? Learning to view "holidays" as seasons has been a big on-going "a ha" moment for me of late.

Speaking of seasons, can I tell you how happy I am that spring has finally arrived (although she still seems a bit iffy on a 40F day in Pittsburgh)! I am convinced that the seasons, be they spring-summer-winter-fall or rainy/dry, are God's way of teaching us how to move through the seasons of our lives. We only get one chance at that, but every year God gives us a refresher course in how to adjust to transitions.

Lastly, speaking of transitions, I came across some thoughts I jotted down from our Bible study last summer that seemed worth sharing (and I apologize I can't recall the exact source). Some questions to ask yourself when you realize you're in a time of transition:
What are you grateful for?
What do you need to let go of?
What do you need to take hold of?
And who do you trust?

And to my 2 blogger friends who are still waiting in the wings . . . what are you waiting for, girls? (you know who you are!!) Come on and join the fun!

Spring Thing Reading Challenge

2008-03-23T16:02:00.006-04:00

So my friend Katrina graciously hosts a wonderful reading challenge each spring and fall, with books galore to give away and a wonder way to see what others are reading. I almost didn't participate this time around. The thought of making a list and including all the links just kind of overwhelmed me. Then I remembered - I've got a list! I've been using Shelfari for several months now and it's been a great way to keep track of books I'm reading as well as those I plan to read.

So check out the list in my sidebar or hop on over if you'd like to see more stuff I plan to read. Some of these I'm just about finished with but they don't budge from the list until I've finished them, cover to cover. Our vacation falls within the Spring Reading Challenge and that's when I usually indulge in more fiction but I don't really have a list for that yet. Here's just a few notes re: my selections and I really hope Katrina doesn't disqualify me for cheating by using Shelfari!

I'm especially looking forward to Praying With the Church, by Scot McKnight, since I enjoyed The Jesus Creed by him. And he recently interviewed Nancy Ortberg on his blog about her new book, Looking for God, which piqued my interest and made the list as well. The Right to Write by Julia Cameron is one of those books I'll be reading for several months, and may never finish, but each chapter provides some writing encouragement and an exercise (I'm on #6). I expect to finish Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (my second time through and one of my favs) and Gift from the Sea within a day or so. I loved The Kite Runner, and the sequel, a Thousand Splendid Suns, promises to be even better.

The Basin and the Towel

2008-03-21T08:29:00.004-04:00

This week has been anything but a holy one for the disciples. One minute they were dreading the trip to Jerusalem, the next they were breathing a sigh of relief as they saw the crowd praising and acclaiming him as king. They could barely look ahead from one day to the next, each moment giving rise to the deafening crescendo, the death of their friend and master.

Yet in the midst of this turmoil comes a moment of respite, as Jesus calls them away to share the Passover meal together. And tucked away in this account of their last meal together comes the most tender of moments. The one who days before had been acclaimed by all as King, and who would soon bear the greatest agony ever known to man, kneels before each of them in humility and tenderly washes their feet.

Peter speaks for all of them when he asks Jesus what he’s doing. And Jesus assures him that, although they can't possibly understand it now, someday they will. The disciples squirm in discomfort as they watch and wait their turn. Why was their master humiliating himself like this, performing a task reserved for the lowliest of servants? I imagine him as he approached each of them, looking up at them with gentle eyes and whispering words of assurance, perhaps sharing a memory or two. “I love you. I care about you. I know you’re afraid of what lies ahead. I understand. And I’m here for you.”

In this time of great uncertainty about their future, perhaps Jesus was saying, "This is how you'll be able to go on. Be in community with one another. Be there for each other. When it comes to serving your brother, nothing is beneath you. Quit worrying about your place in the pack. It's not about you; it's about each other."

I think Michael Card, in his song The Basin and the Towel, captures the essence and beauty of this night:

In an upstairs room
A parable is just about to come alive
And while they bicker about who's best
With a painful glance He'll silently rise
Their Savior Servant must show them how
Through the will of the water
And the tenderness of the towel

In any ordinary place
On any ordinary day
The parable can live again
When one will kneel and one will yield
Our Savior Servant must show us how
Through the will of the water
And the tenderness of the towel

And the space between ourselves sometimes
Is more than the distance between the stars
By the fragile bridge of the servant's bow
We take up the basin and the towel

CHORUS
And the call is to community
The impoverished power that sets the soul free
In humility to take the vow
That day after day we must take up
The basin and the towel

(c)1994 Birdwing Music (a div. of the Sparrow Corporation) (ASCAP)
From Poiema by Michael Card

She's Changing My Life

2008-03-16T15:45:00.001-04:00

Dark brown hair. Deep brown eyes that seem to peer back into my own. I picked her because she's the same age as my oldest niece but the similarities I think stop there. I look at her picture daily and am reminded how different her life is from mine. It puts my life in perspective. I could wish for her to have a life like mine, a privileged American living the dream, but is that what she really needs? Actually is it even what I need?

I’m reminded how we live in such a disposable society and how likely it is that she thrives on what others dispose of, including some of our disposable income, my few monthly dollars that go towards child sponsorship. Her clothes are most likely hand-me-downs or even cast offs. Her shoes – geez, I wonder if she even owns a pair and if they fit well and how far she has to walk each day and if she’s ever ridden in a car. I’m sure she doesn’t fret about rising gas prices like I do, but no doubt they affect her life in the long run. I can’t help thinking about her whenever I go to purchase a cup of coffee, wondering if she even had clean water to drink that day – and enough of it, with 4 or 5 siblings.

I think about all that goes into a mealtime for me - the preparation and decision making. I have choices and how often do I choose less than the best? Chances are she doesn't have many choices when it comes to eating. It is merely life-sustaining, if it is that at all. I have the luxury of time and space to think and dream. I wonder if she has any dreams for her life, beyond just surviving until the next day, in a country plagues by AIDS and hunger. I so take Jesus for granted, along with the multiple Bibles I own but often neglect, and I wonder if she’s ever heard his name and what he means to her.

At the end of the day, we’re not so very different, she and I. We both need a living breathing relationship with God our creator. And we’re both loved and cared for by our awesome God. We're connected by people at World Vision who make it possible for those of us who have way more than we'll ever need to share with those who have way less than they really need. Oh yes, I give a few dollars a month (really, about the cost of a daily cup of coffee - which I can still afford) towards her sponsorship, in hopes that she will thrive and that her community will grow into a self-sustaining entity. But she has already given me so much more.

Waiting Game

2008-03-12T13:05:00.005-04:00

I always thought of myself as a pretty patient person. But lately I've come to realize that being passive (something I've been lovingly accused of) about something does not necessarily constitute patience in waiting. I think waiting is actually more active than it is passive. It implies a sense of prayerful expectation, doesn't it? Was Jacob waiting when he wrestled with the angel at the brook? Was Noah waiting while he built the ark?

What does waiting look like for you? What are you waiting for? And how do you know when the answer comes? (most likely just questions to be answered within your heart!) (and a p.s. in response to Becky's comment below - isn't the answer sometimes more than just something we "get"? Seems like sometimes it comes in the form of just clarity or direction or renewed hope.)

In the meantime, I'm returning to my own little waiting game! Leaving you with some lyrics that have blessed me in recent days:

When I am tired You bring me comfort
(I will wait; I will wait for You)
When I am weak You give me strength
(I will wait; I will wait for You)
When I can't walk You give me wings like an eagle
(I will wait; I will wait for You)
When I'm alone You bring me peace
(I will wait)
I will wait for Your mercy
I will wait for Your plan to unfold
I will wait for Your mercies are new every morning
When I am wounded You heal my broken bones
(I will wait; I will wait for You)
And when I sing You fill my heart with joy
(I will wait; I will wait for You)
And when I fear the unknown You give me peace
(I will wait; I will wait for You)
And when I call, You always answer me
(I will wait)
We wait for You like watchmen wait for morning
We wait for You like creation waits for spring
We wait for You knowing sometimes without warning
You reveal Your plan in ways that maybe we don't understand Aaron Shust (Whispered and Shouted)

God, the one and only—
I'll wait as long as he says.
Everything I hope for comes from him,
so why not?
He's solid rock under my feet,
breathing room for my soul,
An impregnable castle:
I'm set for life. Psalm 62:5-6 (The Message)

This Way and That

2008-02-29T14:10:00.008-05:00

I hate windshield wipers. They make me dizzy. (Perhaps this explains my dislike of the automatic car washes!) I do all I can to avoid using my windshield wipers. I love the delay and mist features (I go through lots of windshield washer fluid in my car) and rely heavily on those to get me through rain and snow!

Now my new car poses an additional problem: rear windshield wipers. I can see the point - water does tend to accumulate on the rear window of my Escape more than on my Regal. But it makes me crazy to have two sets of wipers operating out of sync. I tried at first to synchronize them - I really did. Trust me, it's impossible. So I use the rear one intermittently and as infrequently as possible.

I guess those wipers describe the state of my heart right now, going this way and that. I'm just not in sync with blogging these days. I feel pulled in opposite directions, part of me enjoying the connection that comes with blogging. But part of me wants to be more intentional about writing than blogging can really accommodate. God's been working on my heart about some things just are not bloggable (not yet anyways) and when I sit down to write a post, it sounds like I'm underwater or in a tunnel - all I hear are my own words and they're anything but clear.

So when all else fails, take a break, right? Seems about this time every year, I find some time away provides some clarity and direction. I still enjoy the community blogging affords though, so I'll be around, reading and commenting.

Face Time

2008-02-28T07:18:00.003-05:00

Earlier this week, I had to travel with a few coworkers to visit a major account. The reason: they (the customer) needed face time. Honestly, I'm pretty sure that's about all they got from me - smiles and nods and the usual meet-and-greet handshakes, as I sat and mostly listened to my colleagues explain our course of action. They got face time, almost five hours. But you know, they need much more from us than face time. What they really want is assurance and confidence that we will be able to meet their needs on a consistent, proactive basis. They want action and communication. In short, and in their words, they need a partner.

I think I used to give God face time. Sunday mornings were his for sure. Possibly a few hours during the week. And morning devotions, as often as I could squeeze them in. In college, we had to fill out an activity report on such requirements. Perhaps more than build discipline in my life, it served to make such things mere duty.

Yes, there's something to be said for quiet moments spent listening to his voice, reading his word. There's a time and place to gather with others to worship. But God desires so much more than that, and slowly I am coming to realize you don't just give God face time. Even though we may tend to relegate him to corners of our lives, he remains present and involved, throughout each moment of the day. There's never a moment where we are out of his sight! How comforting is that!

And as incredible as it may seem, he invites us to partner with him to bring about his purpose in the world, as our current series at church in Ephesians is making quite clear. More than face time, God wants our faces turned toward him always, aware of his presence and work in and through our lives.

Thanks be to God for Broken Food Processors

2008-02-23T10:36:00.002-05:00

I need to bake cookies today. A lot of them. Today, not tomorrow (I'm notorious for putting things off a day). So I got up ready to tackle the task at hand and oops! I'm short about 2 cups of flour. Undaunted, I decided to grind some oatmeal in my food processor and use that instead (it works, I've done it before with great results). But today my food processor decided to bite the dust. It's been on it's last leg, hard to turn on lately, but today it wouldn't budge.

You know what? I'm glad! Not because I need to go buy a new one. Okay, but who doesn't love shopping for a new appliance? But I'm glad because I sat down and had my quiet time, which I had put off to get a jump on my day. Ha! So much for that bright idea. Instead I had a sweet time with Jesus over Fruit Loops, inviting him into my day which already seemed to be off to a funky start.

I'm glad for a broken appliance and foiled plans which forced me to just sit in quiet for a bit. I'm glad for the reminder that he holds the days and hours in his hands. I'm glad for the awareness of his presence. I'll get to the cookies of course. But I'm glad the day took the turn it did.

Words to Speak

2008-02-21T11:54:00.001-05:00

Sometimes a few lyrics seem to frame what's on my heart and mind better than I can, and that's the case with this song I heard recently by Aaron Shust:

Give Me Words to Speak
Calloused and bruised/ dazed and confused
My Spirit is left wanting something more
Than my selfish hopes/ and my selfish dreams
I'm lying with my face down on the floor
Cryin out for more
Cryin out for more

Every night, every day/ I find that I have nothing I can say
So I stand here in silence, awaiting Your guidance
I'm wanting only Your voice to be heard
Let em be Your Words
Let em be your words

Give me words to speak
Don't let my Spirit sleep
Cause I can't think of anything worth saying
But I know that I owe You my life
So give me Words to speak
Don't let my Spirit sleep
(full lyrics here)

I really appreciated that Aaron has posted a few journal notes about the story behind each of his songs. As I listen to these lyrics, an image of an altar comes to mind, where the children of Israel gave back to God what he had given to them. In asking for words to speak, that is my prayer also - something to give back to God.

By the way, just wondering if you iPod or mp3 users have migrated away from CDs and gone to just downloading music? I haven't but am wondering if it doesn't make more sense. The only place I really listen to CDs anymore is in my car, and I could always burn a few favs onto a CD if need be, right? Besides, do we ever love every song on a CD?

Lately I've been listening to Pandora through IM Radio (a feature of MSN). It allows you to create your own radio stations, based on your favorite artists or songs. You don't have control over what it plays other than to give songs a "thumbs down" but it's been nice to listen to at work. I have several radio stations created: a worship one, an easy listening (John Tesh, Enya, etc.) one and my "Weird Mix" - anything from Chicago to Bread to BJ Thomas (like I said, weird!)

Prayer Reminders

2008-02-19T22:21:00.015-05:00

I haven't participated in a Works for Me Wednesday in ages but this is that kind of tip that is working for me and I just had to share.

I hate when I promise to pray for someone in a particular situation and forget. I'm not talking about praying for family and friends so much as those once in a while events like surgeries, moving, traveling, etc. And I'll just say it - prayer lists never really worked for me.

Again, this has to do with using the multiple calendar feature on Google Calendar. You can add several different "calendars" to show up on one calendar, and differentiate them by color. For instance, I have my personal calendar, meal planner, work schedule (came in handy to track overtime last fall), etc. So now I have a prayer calendar.

Since I look at Google Calendar several times throughout the day, it's a helpful reminder of people and events I want to keep in prayer. For example, a group from church is going to the Biloxi area to help with post-Katrina rebuilding efforts there. My mom is going on a mission trip to Spain. A family is moving. Someone is having surgery. So these events show up in bright teal several times a day throughout the month and kind of jog my memory.

I really do think Paul had the right idea - to pray without ceasing, or always be in an attitude of prayer. But with so many things vying for our mental and otherwise attention these days, sometimes a visual reminder goes a long way in keeping matters of prayer at the forefront of our minds.

So that's what is working for me right now, at least where prayer for others is concerned. Feel free to share something that works for you.

Quotations and Reflections 2

2008-02-14T10:33:00.008-05:00

Slowly I have realized that I do not have to be qualified to do what I am asked to do, that I just have to go ahead and do it, even if I can't do it as well as I think it ought to be done. This is one of the most liberating lessons of my life. ~ Madeleine L'Engle (And It Was Good)

It's nice when you realize some accomplished person whom you really admired struggled with the same feelings of inadequacy. The important thing then, is not whether or not we believe we're qualified, but that we just forge ahead with the task at hand. And then we stand back and marvel at how God steps in and fills in the gaps.

The Fragrance of Her Life

2008-02-12T19:29:00.000-05:00

(written in honor of my gram's birthday, February 13th)

Recently I've become acutely aware of how closely my memories of my grandmother are tied to my sense of smell. Some of the memories are intentional; when I miss her most, all I have to do is start baking. The smell of chocolate chip cookies or bread baking conjures up pleasant memories of many days spent underfoot in the corner of Gram's kitchen, where I hovered at her elbow, begging for my chance to stir the Thanksgiving gravy or beat the egg whites for her amazing Austrian dumplings.

The most pleasant memories, however, are the ones I bump into quite unexpectedly. Take, for instance, Irish Spring soap. Just a whiff takes me back to wash day at Gram's house. My favorite part was helping run the fresh, clean, one-hundred percent cotton sheets through the mangle, an old-fashioned ironing contraption. The mangle squeaked and moaned as the sheets were pulled inch by inch over the hot steamy roller arm. Once the last bit of sheet had passed through, you quickly pulled the freshly pressed sheet out, folded it once more and repeated the process. Gram then carefully tucked the sheets away in a drawer amid a bar or two of Irish Spring soap. On a hot summer night, nothing brings on a restful sleep like a cool, crisply creased cotton sheet and the fresh smell of Irish Spring soap.

Then there's furniture polish. Although it emerges less frequently at my house, when it does, it brings to mind many Saturday mornings spent cleaning Gram's house. Dusting was my favorite chore. Each and every knick-knack had special meaning to me. As I fingered the old books on the shelves, my love of the classics grew. The model frigate inspired dreams of faraway places. The little china girl with the poodle dog set my heart on having my own dog someday. Even the fine china and crystal had an impact on me, as I began to dream about the day I would host family gatherings and cook the holiday dinners.

More memories come to mind as I pass through the cosmetics section of a department store. Usually a kiss and hug from Gram left a bit of Hollywood Extra cold cream on your cheek. It was her standard makeup and gave her warm Italian skin a bit of a shiny glow. But on special occasions, she donned her Estee Lauder Private Collection fragrance. I can still picture her, dressed to the nines and decked out in her fur coat, ready to take my mother, sister and me to the Nutcracker ballet one year. As we stood in line, the sweet fragrance of her perfume filled the air and my girlish heart swelled with pride to have such a classy lady for my gram.

So many wonderful scents – so many precious memories. I realize now my Gram's entire life was a fragrance that delighted and refreshed all who knew her. Since her passing, I've become especially sensitive to scent. The slightest whiff of lilac blossoms in spring or a baby freshly powdered after its bath remind me to stop and enjoy all the loveliness around me, and remember a beautiful life whose fragrance still lingers with me.

Quotation and Reflections 1

2008-02-10T14:12:00.000-05:00

I came across this quote a while ago and it really resonated with me:

What deadens us most to God's presence within, I think, is the inner dialogue that we are engaged in within ourselves, the endless chatter of human thought. I suspect that there is nothing more crucial to true spiritual comfort than being able from time to time to stop that chatter, including the chatter of spoken prayer. - Frederick Buechner

I can so relate to that "inner dialogue" thing. Not that there's anything wrong with thinking, certainly a God-given part of our makeup. But yes, at times, it does tend to drown out everything else. At first, I had to pause at the part about spoken prayer, but I'd have to agree that at times, my prayer is just that - chatter. I so easily forget the other part of the conversation - listening.

So does this ring true for you at all? If so, how have you found ways to balance the "inner dialogue" with making room for God's presence and voice in your life?

My Lenten Journey

2008-02-05T22:21:00.000-05:00

Thinking back over the years I am amazed to see how God has used the season of Lent in my life, even though my observance of it has been mostly as a bystander:

I observed smudges on people’s foreheads, and in ignorance pointed them out! Oops. (They were merely Ash Wednesday ashes.)
I observed friends declaring what they were giving up for Lent. And felt a sense of secret chagrin that for that many weeks, I couldn’t share home-baked treats or lattes with them, not wanting to offend or tempt them.
I observed my own sense of self-righteousness, sometimes proclaiming almost proudly that I didn’t observe Lent. Didn’t need to.
I observed a personal lack of understanding of the biblical practice of fasting. I felt God challenge me to privately “give up” something as a reminder to pray for my friends during this season.
I observed God at work in my heart, asking me to be open to seeing things afresh, stripped of preconceived notions about how things should look.
I observed others observing Lent – not merely as a meaningless ritual or requirement for righteousness but as a season of letting go in order to grasp more tightly to things of God.
I observed a growing curiosity about this tradition that is not specifically mentioned in the Bible and yet contains so many biblical elements.

Lent for me has been a strange but beautiful journey over the past fourteen years, one I didn’t even realize I was on. But for these reasons and more, I’m excited to embrace it more fully this year, and all that God has to teach me through it.

Reading the Stitches

2008-02-04T07:18:00.000-05:00

A few months ago, I got it in my head that I could learn to knit. As a kid, I always wanted to learn to knit. My gram was an expert crocheter, but try as I might, I never really liked it. Crochet said pineapple doilies and lace and granny squares and daisy afghans - a mind-tangling array of possibilities. Knit said knitting and purling. Row upon row. Straightforward and simple.

So it happens that some ladies at church get together and knit or crochet projects to give away to homeless shelters, new mothers or sick children as the needs arise. Some of them were talking about it at Bible study one night. Hmm, I thought, I could learn to knit, get involved with something worthwhile, have something to keep me occupied while my husband watches TV at night, as well as get to know some other women. Oh and ~~make some Christmas gifts.~~ (who am I kidding!)

I started not one, not two but three projects before I ran into ~~some~~ many snags. So I met a friend one night at B&N. She taught me my most important lesson: learn to read the stitches. She made me look closely at my work. "This is a knit stitch. This is a purl stitch. The knit stitches look like "V's" while the purl stitches look like bumps."

You see, I'd been cruising along, knitting and purling but not always paying attention. When I'd realize I made a mistake, not knowing where I erred, I'd pull the whole thing out! Learning to read the stitches has made my knitting life so much easier.

And this weekend as I was knitting, I realized how important it is in life to read the stitches. To be aware of what's going on in my heart. In my home. In my relationships. And physically. What is God teaching me? Are there lessons he keeps bringing to the forefront of my mind? Where am I enjoying life-giving rhythms, and where am I out of sync? How have changes (of seasons or whatever) thrown me off course? As well, I need to read the stitches in others lives, to be attentive and considerate of where they are. What's _____ going through right now? What does she/he need? How can I pray for them?

Our lives are surely God's handiwork. He knows the finished picture and, day by day, is revealing more of that to us as he works in our lives. But we must pay attention to the stitches.

Pushing the Reset Button

2008-01-30T07:15:00.000-05:00

The other night I did something I've been needing to do for a while. Got out my Leslie Sansone "Walk Away the Pounds" DVD. I prefer walking over most any type of exercise. But I do best when I'm walking around a track or path. A park in decent weather works quite well. Even the mall will do in a pinch. But walking to a DVD? I'm still not completely sold on it. Nevertheless, when it's too cold to walk outside or too late to go to the mall or track or park - well, if a DVD will get me moving, I'm all there. Especially when the space heaters are on in the gameroom. Did I mention I hate to be cold?

It occurred to me that the 15 oz. cans of fruit cocktail I was using as weights were probably not real effective. But swinging 26 oz. jars of spaghetti sauce just seems wrong.

Mike even joined me for a bit, although I'm pretty sure it was more for laughs than exercise. Let's just say my husband was not one of the male cheerleaders in high school! Oops, watch out for that ceiling fan, buddy! Okay, I think he lasted about a quarter mile.

In all seriousness though, as I huffed and puffed, I wondered why it's taken me this long to get moving. Yes, I hate to be cold. But even worse, I hate the feeling of stiffness that sets in during the winter months. I hate the melancholy feeling that lurks when the days are short and the nights long. For several weeks now I've been saying I just need to get moving. So what holds me back? Now that I did it tonight though, I'm sure I'll get back to doing it 3-4 times a week.

Sometimes growth and progress are not about doing something new, but rather pushing the reset button on the basics, either to get back on track or build on what we know. Reading through the Gospels, I'm reminded that this seemed to be Jesus' approach to growth - focusing on the basics and showing people how that looked.

I thought about this as I finalized my Prayer for 2008. It seems many of the things on my list reappear year after year. Whether it be prayer, managing our finances or taking care of our bodies, it always seems to come back to the same things - the basics. So this year, my goal is to embrace pushing the reset button, as many times as it takes to stay with what I know.

The Art of Crockpot Cooking

2008-01-27T14:42:00.000-05:00

Last Sunday, I made French Onion soup in the crockpot, thinking I'd have it for Monday dinner as well, along with some sandwiches. Not. I did not know it was my husband's favorite soup meal. It was gone by Sunday night. So I made more today. And know better than to hope there'll be much left for tomorrow. But hey - that's okay. When you hit on a favorite, it's rewarding enough to see it disappear.

I've been trying to master the art of crockpot cooking. Easier said than done when I leave by 7:30 am and neither of us is rarely home before 6:00 pm. So . . .

I bought a new crockpot, the kind with the removable crock (after 18 years with my old one, I figured I could splurge on a new one!)
And because the models with the built-in timer are entirely too big for the two of us, I bought a $10 appliance timer from the hardware store, the kind you can use to turn your lights on when you're away from home. I set it to start around 9:00 am and shut off around 5:30 pm.
I also started browning and cutting up ingredients the night before and putting them in the crockpot in the fridge overnight. I set the cold crock into the heating unit in the morning and add any liquid ingredients at that time.

Obviously recipes with the longest cooking times, and without rice, noodles or cream bases work the best. I'm constantly on the lookout for good recipes to try. We both seem to prefer soups and stews right now so if you have some suggestions, I'm open!

Oh, and here's the French Onion soup recipe. I prefer to top the soup with croutons and cheese shavings, as opposed to toasting French bread and topping it with messy slabs of mozzarella. Less complicated and messy - does anyone really enjoy eating soup with cheese hanging out of their mouth? Does the lack of French bread make this un-French onion soup? I think not!

Ingredients:
6 large onions (I've been using 3 large Vidalia or Mayan onions, much better flavor)
1 stick butter
6 cans beef broth
2-3 bay leaves
2-3 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
Croutons (use the best you can find, I like the Rothsberry Farms brand best)
Fontinella cheese, shaved (can also use Parmesan or other hard cheeses)

Saute onions in butter until tender and sweet. (I've been doing this step on Saturday night and putting it together on Sunday morning). Add onions, broth, bay leaves and Worcestershire sauce to crockpot and cook on low for 5-7 hours. Serve with croutons topped with cheese shavings. Enjoy!

Thoughts on Church

2008-01-24T07:05:00.000-05:00

This past Sunday I got up early and headed to my parents' church to surprise them with some cookies and snag a hug or two. Then I headed to my own church, which starts later. On my way, it was pretty obvious the only people on the road on that frigid Sunday morning were church goers. I mean, where else would the elderly couple driving well below the speed limit in a Grand Marquis be headed? I passed by several churches where parking lots were slowly filling. I ran into my friend at Starbuck's on her way to church. And then I finally arrived at my church. Whew!

A few thoughts were swirling around in my brain as I planted myself in my usual row:

I'm home! Happy to be with people I am coming to know and love. And how great it is that God places each of us in just the right church family in each season of our lives. (I'm coming to recognize that our lives truly are lived in seasons.)
We have nothing to fear just because not everyone worships like we do (amongst those of us who call God our Father and trust Christ as Savior). I think God is more accepting of diversity in and among the body of Christ than we are. We know we're supposed to accept each other within the local body - the local church. But why do we have a hard time accepting and embracing other local churches in the body of Christ at large?
A while ago I read a great post about competition vs. collaboration among churches. For some reason, scenes from the animated movie, An American Tale, keep popping into my mind. Remember all the little mouse families, huddled together in their mouse holes in fear of the big cats? Only when they emerged from hiding and banded together were they able to make a difference. What if we all recognized our place in the body of Christ and envisioned what we could accomplish in our communities together? What would happen if our local communities saw the people of God pitching in and being the hands and feet of God where the needs are greatest?
As followers of Christ, God is continually growing us into the people he needs us to be. Wouldn't the same hold true for churches . . . isn't transformational change a given? But I think we have to dismantle, or maybe allow God to dismantle, some of the boxes we put around our church experience in order to truly allow God to work.

Church. It's a beautiful thing.

Coming Home

2008-01-22T21:09:00.000-05:00

Sometimes life can be pretty distracting, pulling us in many directions. Sometimes days like that string themselves together like a barrage of artillery fire. When I feel like that, I tend to respond in one of two ways. Sometimes I purposely distract myself even further, burying my head in a book or chilling out in front of the TV. Before I know it, the night is over and I’m headed for bed, blocking out the events of the day and kind of hiding from the next day.

But sometimes I remember to take a deep breath, to just sit and think through the day (or days). And then I’m in a place where I can invite God to speak to me. Not to see how I measure up or where I've failed, but rather to recognize his presence and work in my life. To just kind of curl up in his lap of love and acceptance. And that’s when I feel like I’m finally home.

Sometimes the old saying, “home is where the heart is” rings truer than we realize. If God speaks to us through our hearts and we’re not taking time to be aware of what’s going in our hearts, well . . . where are we? How well do we know our truest selves? And how often are we willing to take a look into our hearts and see where we really are? How are we feeling? Where are we needing to make changes or what changes are we needing to accept? What is God wanting to teach us?

We may not be off squandering our inheritance but sometimes we fail to live in awareness of it. I stray whenever I lose touch with who I am, when I get away from my God-intended purpose, when I lose sight of what God is doing in my life. Coming home, I’m learning, is not just for prodigal offspring. Over and over again, God invites us to come home – to listen to our hearts, to his Spirit as he speaks into our lives.

The Perfect Gift

2008-01-20T15:02:00.000-05:00

I spent some time yesterday afternoon searching for a birthday gift for my mother-in-law. Over the years, doing so has become much easier, but it brought back memories of the early days of my marriage. Oh, the torment I put myself through those first few years every time an inlaw birthday rolled around! All of the sudden, I found myself irrevocably connected to perfect strangers. And for me, the way to bridge that gap was through giving the perfect gift.

Gift-giving has always been that for me – a way to bridge gaps and span chasms - especially in my college days, when bits of time with loved ones was interspersed with long periods of homesickness. I consoled myself on holidays away from home by preparing care packages to send home.

Several years ago I finally realized there was no such thing as the perfect gift. Gifts would always be flawed. Either the gift itself would be flawed, of inferior quality or some hidden defect, or the giving would be flawed. It might be a duplicate, or not fit or match right or perhaps it was one of those gifts that would end up on the Goodwill pile someday. What a relief it was when I came to understand I didn’t have to give the perfect gift.

In contrast, how beautiful is the gift God has given us in his Son Jesus Christ! A truly perfect gift – no faults or hidden defects. And the giving was perfect as well – in the fullness of time, all sufficient and yet more than we could ever ask or think. It bridged the greatest chasm of all times, bringing us into eternal relationship with God. Not a once in a lifetime thing we put on the shelf after the newness wears off, but a gift that invites us to partake daily in the life God has given us.

Word of the Week: Invitation

2008-01-18T07:00:00.000-05:00

Invite: To ask for the presence or participation of, to welcome; encourage

I'm just loving this word lately for some reason. It's one of those beautiful, multi-faceted words. An invitation says "the door is open, come on in. You're welcome here." Of course, I think of God's invitation to me, his constant invitation to walk more fully in the life he offers and to somehow participate in his work. He doesn't strong arm me or coerce me. His voice of love gently beckons, and the invitation is mine to accept or reject. Yet as often as I neglect or reject his invitation, he never tires of extending his arms towards me.

I also have been thinking of this word in terms of human relationships. How many people in my life have extended an invitation to me over the years? How have I felt welcomed, loved and accepted by others? Oh, too many times to enumerate, but in recent days and months I've become increasingly grateful for those welcoming arms along the way.

And finally, do I offer an invitation to others? Does my life invite others into the life God has for them? And can I invite and welcome others into my life? Blogging has definitely been a segue into this learning to be more open, but it's something I know God wants me to do in real-time as well. And it all circles back to the beginning, an invitation from God to take another step.

God Will Make a Way

2008-01-16T07:20:00.000-05:00

I've always been fascinated by highway construction. Now, don't get me wrong, I find it completely annoying when I'm stuck in the resulting traffic. But I don't mind riding through construction zones during off-peak hours. I find it amazing when mountains of earth are moved and roads seem to appear out of nowhere. One day there's no way to get from here to there - a common occurrence in the city of Pittsburgh. A few months later - surprise! There's a new stretch of highway beckoning us, all because some brilliant civil engineer saw a way where there appeared to be none.

About 15 years ago, I took a bunch of girls to a cheer leading camp. Besides the usual rah-rah-rahs, practical jokes and death-defying stunts, we learned some wonderful worship songs and experienced a great sense of bonding. On the way home, our van kept dying. Our prayer was that we'd get out of the no-zone, that lonely stretch of south 79, and into the city of Washington so we could at least access a phone and get some help. The girls burst out in this song by Don Moen, which kind of became our personal prayer for that year:

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me

He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today

Isn't that just so true? Time and again, we can't see the way through but in the midst of the confusion and chaos of our wilderness times, God makes a way.

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19

Taste and See

2008-01-13T20:26:00.000-05:00

Recently while waiting to pick up some Chinese take-out, I gave into hunger and grabbed one of those mysterious foil-wrapped candies on the counter. Gag- I wish they would have remained a mystery! It was like biting into hard plastic - no taste whatsoever. Just to be sure, I grabbed another. This one was nougat-like, but still devoid of any flavor.

It was the first time I ever remember tasting something and yet tasting absolutely nothing. And it made me oh, so glad that when God tells us to "taste and see" that he is good, he comes through, true to his promise. I was reminded of this during an early morning walk today. I was thinking about a different song, also having to do with God's love, but these lyrics by Chris Tomlin kept pushing to the forefront of my mind:

Praise You, God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change, God, You remain
The Holy One and my unfailing love
Unfailing love
(From the song Unfailing Love, on the album Arriving)

Of course, God is good and his love unfailing, whether I realize it or not. Yet he invites me to step out, to taste and experience that goodness for myself. And when I do, I find without fail that he is indeed good. He doesn't disappoint.

Ps. 34:8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed are those who take refuge in him.

Ask. Seek. Knock.

2008-01-09T06:40:00.000-05:00

This year I'm working through a book called Oxygen in the mornings. It's not your typical devotional book. Rather than provide a daily scripture reading, author Keri Wyatt Kent invites you to spend an entire week (28 in all) in a different Gospel passage. And rather than leave you with a list of questions, she challenges you to reflect on the passage in several different ways. Each week wraps up with a few of her own thoughts to help you reflect.

Initially, I was a little hesitant to abandon my regular reading plan (a little OCD kicking in) but after spending some time meditating on this week's passage (Matt 7:1-12) on my way to work and at night, I think I like this. I feel more freedom to “dwell in” those words, to chew them over and fully enjoy the flavor they impart.

These familiar verses were especially challenging to me at the start of this new year: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; those who seek find; and to those who knock, the door will be opened." (Matt 7:7-8)

Ask. Seek. Knock. Each requires a step of faith. We don’t know what the response will be when we ask. We have no idea what we'll find when we start seeking in earnest. We don’t know what will be on the other side of the door when we muster up the courage to knock.

What will I ask this year? Of God? Myself? Of others?

What am I seeking?

What doors of opportunity will I knock upon?

The Ebb and Flow of Relationships

2008-01-07T07:41:00.000-05:00

Most mornings I've been starting my day just sitting quietly for a few minutes with this prayer from the book, Celtic Daily Prayer. Recently my eye has been drawn to the essay above it by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, from her book Gift from the Sea. I've been thinking a lot about these lines:

We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanence, on duration, on continuity;

especially as they relate to relationships. I tend to want my relationships today to be what they were yesterday. In a way, I'm like a child on the beach, inconsolable when the tide comes in and washes away my sand castle. So this idea that relationships ebb and flow is actually freeing for me. While every relationship warrants effort on my part, I need to respect the nature of relationships in and of themselves. They will come and they will go. And, I am learning, they will come again. That may mean a renewed relationship with a friend that had gone sour or where the two of you have drifted. Or it may mean new relationships. Or possibly, tried and true relationships will take on a new dimension, going to a deeper level.

I'm fortunate to have a sister who is also my dearest friend. And yet over the years, our relationship has experienced this sense of ebb and flow, due mostly to the changing seasons of our lives. While time and proximity are not the only criteria for relationships, both factors have certainly contributed. I think this year we've walked through some deep learning experiences together (mostly via phone and email). She's made some space in her life to tend to her needs as a woman, which as a caring big sister gives me great joy, but as a friend, gives me even greater joy as we've connected in some truly life-giving ways.

The essay by Lindbergh concludes:

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.

As adults, we realize the ebbing tide will return again and are content to look forward to another day of sandcastle building. Are we willing to acknowledge this ebb and flow in our relationships?

Making Goals and Dreaming Dreams

2008-01-04T20:41:00.000-05:00

This is quite a process for me! I didn't realize it but last year I didn't finalize this until the end of January. But a little incident this morning revealed to me how important it is to get things down on paper!

Ever since about September of 2006, we've hesitated to use our shower due to needing tile repair in the tub. Do you know how annoying it is to wash your hair hanging over the tub? And while I like an occasional bath, I miss my hot showers. This morning I was starting to list in my journal different areas for change and opportunity in the coming year and, on the home front, this of course made the list. And then I promptly said, "what the heck!" and jumped in and enjoyed a nice hot shower! And then got the local Pennysaver out and called a contractor for an estimate. I tell you, writing things down works wonders!

Another thing I'm planning to do differently this year is share some of these goals with different people.. For starters, I plan to share some with my husband. I figure he would like to know where the money's going this year! (No, I'm kidding. We always make those kind of decisions together.) But what I fail to do is share my personal goals with him. For instance, if I have a goal of writing 15 minutes a day (outside of blogging, email, journaling etc.) then it makes sense he know why I'm sequestering myself in the game room each morning. Even though we don't necessarily share all the same goals and dreams, it makes sense to know where the other person is headed. (Where his goals are concerned, it's pretty easy - he's still taking classes towards his Masters, and yet a little probing into some of his dreams is probably in order.)

So that's where I'm at in this process. If you've already shared along these lines, I'd love to hear about your goals or resolutions or whatever you call them.

Word of the Year: Life-giving

2008-01-02T21:30:00.000-05:00

Someone I am blessed to call friend recently posted about this word, specifically about things that are life-giving to her. And then it appeared in my reading of Madeleine L'Engle Glimpses of Grace, again in Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott as well as several other things I'm reading. I can't get this word out of my head. It's as if God is saying "are you paying attention yet?"

Isn't that really what it's all about? Life. Eternal life. Abundant life. Now. People. Relationships. God. For so long I think I fell under the misconception that eternal life begins when life on this earth ends. I am learning there's so much more to life in Christ.

Another sweet blogger, Becky, and I have dialogued over several "Word of the Week" posts I've done and she related how each year she prays about a word for the year, something God would have her consider and learn and live. I'm thinking this word "life-giving" might be that word for me. What if that were the filter through which I ran my thoughts and my words? The things I do and and the things I read? The way I spend my time and my resources? How I relate to others? In each situation, am I choosing life?

And just as both inhaling and exhaling are necessary for breathing, so I realize this life-giving thing goes both ways. It's not just about what gives life to me. It's about things I can do - choices I make everyday - that enable me to give life to others in return.

I'm still working my way through some goals and dreams for the coming year, but for now my prayer is for this word to infuse and transform the way I do and see things in 2008.

Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008

2008-01-01T10:31:00.000-05:00

Hard to believe another year has rolled on by, and I find myself staring at a brand new year as I would a blank canvas. Wondering what the picture will look like. Amazed and awed at the awareness of God continuing to work in my life, to fashion me into the image of his Son. Knowing that I literally bring nothing to the work except my own availability.

Last year, in lieu of a pile of resolutions, I opted to make some commitments to growth in just four areas, adopted from Luke 2:52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. Before I move ahead with thoughts about the coming year, it's time to look back, as I've done often this past year, in review:

Wisdom (Mental) My goal last year was to figure out some direction with regards to my degree. While my Bachelor's degree is respectable enough, unfortunately it being from an unaccredited college, it's nothing I can really build upon towards a Master's degree or move towards certification of some kind in the educational field without starting from scratch. And at 43, do I really want to start from scratch? Nah, not really. Slowly but surely, I think I've come to a point of acceptance about this and it's helping me be open to direction in other areas of potential. A continual area of prayer and discernment!

Stature (Physical) Desiring to maintain an active lifestyle and realizing that I only get one body in this life (duh!), I think I made some strides last year in this area. I hooked up with a friend who is an avid bike rider (not to mention hiker, cross-country ski buff and all-around outdoors nut) and hope to continue enjoying this kind of activity in the coming year.

Favor with God (Spiritual) I think I really started to "get" some things about my relationship with God last year. This is one area where starting from scratch was not a bad thing. Among other things, the concept of grace became very real and exciting to me. I'm realizing that, while I need to continue growing and living into God's love, God's love for me is already complete and perfect. There's nothing I can do to warrant any more of his love. God's love has become an awesome wellspring of life in which I desire to more fully abide.

Favor with Man (Relational) At some point in 2006, God began showing me that he did not intend for me to walk this journey alone. Humanly speaking, that'd be my preference. Alone and private is so much more predictable and controllable - or so I thought. Last year he brought some wonderful friends into my life who've helped me to realize that indeed, two are better than one. I've seen the seeds of community and connection begin to take root in my heart. And for that, I am deeply grateful. And I'm abundantly thankful for this place in blogland where I'm able and learning to be increasingly open, for friends to share in the journey!

Tomorrow - ~~New Year's Resolutions~~ 2008 Word for the Year!

Sand Art

2007-12-30T11:56:00.000-05:00

My little gram was a self-taught artist. Her art and creativity were gifts of herself she freely shared with others. Mostly she did oil paintings, reproductions of the Masters. But one habit of hers drove us absolutely crazy. She thought nothing of covering over the canvas of a finished work and starting again from scratch with a completely different subject. We never let her live down the fact that she once cut off Mona Lisa's hands - yes, she chopped the bottom twelve inches off that painting so she could fit it on a different wall - go figure. But you know, there was always art springing forth from her brushes.

I'm always amazed at another group of artists who specialize in disposable art: sand sculptors. (Check out this sand nativity, a yearly event on the island of Gran Canaria). I mean, they spend literally hours coaxing tiny granules of sand into representations of life, knowing full well it will eventually be ruined by erosion and the elements. But the sculptors return to the beaches, year after year, to delight crowds with the products of their imagination.

What is it about artists who can create and just as readily dismantle their creation? I think it has something to do with their ability to let go. They delight in the process as much as in the product. Not hanging onto the past enables them to move forward. In the emptying of themselves into their work, they create space in which to be filled up again with fresh ideas, much like a flowing fountain. The process is for them; the product is for others. No process, no product.

This speaks to me in so many ways. Right now I'm reading a book called Velvet Elvis, aptly subtitled "repainting the Christian faith." It's opened my eyes to how desperately we try to achieve a sense of permanence in our faith. We want cut and dried, tried and true, when the reality is, "Christianity" is always changing. Not God or the work of Christ, but how we experience it all, and more importantly, how we live out our faith.

Think about it - 100 years ago, chances are we might have attended a church where men and women sat on different sides of the aisle, and church services lasted well into the evening. Five hundred years ago, we might have been accused of witchcraft by our fellow church members, or made to sit in stockade for some infraction of rules. I think it's easy enough to recognize and accept changes that have taken place over the centuries. What's more difficult is accepting changes over recent decades. Kids today are not going to experience faith the same way we did growing up. Most likely you and I worship differently today than we did as children. It's kind of like snapshots of your kids. They capture a moment in time but they're not your kid - they're just an image. Can we accept this constant changing and reframing, or do we cling to the past, to the framed art hanging on the wall that no longer adds to the story?

This speaks to me in the area of writing as well. I'm coming to learn that writing is a continual process, and hanging onto a few well-strung words does nothing to give life to the process. It's like shutting off the fountain and staring into the still pool of water, even after it begins to stagnate. It's not the collection of water (or words) that gives life, it's the continual flow. The reaching deep inside myself and giving out and being content with that process. Always growing. Always changing. Or at least being willing to grow and change.

Hand in Hand

2007-12-26T10:36:00.000-05:00

When I was a child, my sister and I often played in the nearby creek that ran under the road down from my gram's house in the country. We fancied ourselves fishermen, squatting on the shallow banks and swooping empty tin cans through the icy cold water, hoping to come up with a few minnows. Or we'd patiently watch for crayfish to poke their scary little pinchers out of their muddy homes and try to dig them up and fling them into the same tin cans. Oh yes, we were the fearless ones, steadying each other as we stepped, hopscotch-fashion, over the smooth stones, headed for the deeper waters and hopefully better fishing. Proud little adventurers in the great outdoors.

Yes, we were mostly fearless - except for the time my sister almost fell headlong into the creek. We were sprawled on the side of the road, dipping our "fishing poles" (tin cans on strings) into the water below. Somehow my sister slipped on the gravel and almost fell into the creek. Somehow I managed to grab her and keep her in the land of the living. Not that the creek was more than a seven or eight foot drop but to a little kid, it must have seemed like Niagara Falls. For days she retold the story of how I saved her life.

Isn't life a bit like playing in that creek? At times, we are the unsteady ones, trying to figure out the next best step. And then we are the steady ones, reaching back to help another traveler navigate where we've already been. Sometimes we are the stumbling ones, taking an unexpected tumble when life throws it's curves. Other times we are the more sure-footed ones, there to lend a rescuing hand. And this reaching forward and reaching back connects us all in a unique way, not unlike the silly chains of paper dolls we used to cut out as kids.

Hand in hand - isn't it the only way to go through life?

A Christmas Memory

2007-12-24T13:07:00.001-05:00

I just read that this blogger needs to (among other things) install a lock on her son's bedroom door, and a rush of Christmas memories came to mind.

When we were kids, my mom never bothered to wrap our presents. Which suited us just fine. I mean, let's cut to the chase, right? Instead, she arranged my sister's and my gifts in matching piles on the couch or either side of the Christmas tree, which I think she usually set up on Christmas Eve.

Amazingly, these piles were perfectly symmetrical, mirror images of each other. Personalized bath towels. Matching, sometimes homemade, pajamas. New (also sometimes homemade) dresses - same style, different color. Cowboy outfits, complete with cap guns and holsters - just what every little tomboy wants!

And the dolls. Always the dolls. Every year there was a new doll for each of us, I guess to counter any potential negative effects of the cowboy paraphernalia and Hardy Boy books. Also amazing was the fact that every year I seemed to get the brown-haired doll with the red dress while Debbie got the blond-haired doll with the blue dress. Go figure.

Anyways, these laborious preparations kept Mom up quite late on Christmas eve. Her final touch was to secure the bi-fold doors with a rubber band, to keep little early birds at bay while she recouped from her late night endeavors.

Well, one year I decided to take matters into my own hands. As was (and still is) my habit, I was wide awake at some ridiculous hour. I tiptoed out into the hallway, pushed on the bi-fold doors until there was just enough room to get my little hand through and remove the rubber band. I then proceeded to rearrange the piles of presents a little more to my liking. I knew better than to mess with the personalized towels. My main objective was the doll. I wanted, no I needed - that blond doll with the blue dress. I was tired of red. I can't remember what else I did but after a bit, and perhaps a cereal snack, I somehow managed to secure those bifold doors again and tiptoe back to bed, quite pleased with myself.

On Christmas morning, I acted oh so surprised. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, or maybe it was the blinding light from my dad's 8mm movie camera, but my mom never caught on to my clever antics! Until years later when I revealed my little secret and she confessed to a bit of Christmas morning confusion.

So yes, Sarah. You are wise to install a lock on the little boy's door. Perhaps it should be on the outside though!

Of Christmas, the Story

2007-12-24T10:53:00.000-05:00

Been reading Glimpses of Grace, by Madeleine L'Engle, off and on this year. It's a collection of bits and pieces of her writings, from both her fiction and non-fiction works. I thought this reading from the other day priceless and especially appropriate during this season (paragraph breaks mine):

"Let's recover our story because we'll die without it. It's a life-giving story - this magnificent narrative we find in Scripture - if we are willing to read openly and to read all of Scripture, not just the passages selected to help us prove our point.

The God of Scripture can sometimes seem brutal, seen through the eyes of the early biblical narrator, who is looking at the Creator through crudely primitive eyes. But the God of Scripture is also the God who refused to nuke Nineveh, even though that's what Jonah wanted; who forgave David for a really staggering list of wrongdoings; who wants only for us stiff-necked people to repent and come home; who goes out into the stormy night for the one lost black sheep; who throws a party when the Prodigal Son returns; who loves us so much that God did indeed send his only begotten Son to come live with us, as one of us, to help us understand our stories - each one unique, infinitely valuable, irreplaceable."

Blessings to you and yours as you celebrate this wondrous birth.

Surprise, Honey!

2007-12-22T12:02:00.000-05:00

The other day my husband had off work. I took the afternoon off to visit my sister on her birthday and run some errands. I called home around 5:00 pm just to see how his day off was going.

"Did you get to sleep in? Are you hungry? Should I bring something home?" He hasn't had many days off this year - in fact, this was his first paid vacation day in almost two years.

Before I hung up, one last hint, "Try to keep the house clean, okay?" (I just had it cleaned the day before and silly me - was holding my breath it would stay that way until at least my family gathering on Sunday. How much mess can two adults make?)

I got home at 9:00 pm, only to find the kitchen in shambles. The kitchen cupboards seemed to have thrown up all over the place! Things I hadn't seen for years were piled high on counters and table. I peered around the corner and saw hubby camped out in front of the kitchen sink and my heart sank a bit.

"Oh no, not a leak!" Our house is prone to plumbing blessings at inopportune times. I would not be surprised if the sink were leaking.

"Oh no, I just thought it would be a good day to hook up the ice maker."

Our fridge died this summer and the replacement model has an ice maker, something about which we are both a bit ambivalent, nevertheless a fun option we thought we'd hook up eventually. But four days before Christmas! I stood there for a few minutes, not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Any man reading this blog will scratch his head - who wouldn't be happy with an ice maker that you didn't have to nag to have installed? Any woman reading will see my point immediately - the mess. Which I was assured would be remedied in about five minutes. Ah, we know better, don't we?

Anyways, I decided to laugh! At least when my husband tackles plumbing projects, it gets done and done way beyond right. All the fixtures in my house bow down in agreement on this one! We lay in bed that night, listening with delight to the occasional ice cube drop, which caused MacGyver to get his hackles up and bark at the unseen beast.

And I realized something. This was exactly what I needed. No - not an ice maker. I needed to have my grip loosened a bit. My control (okay, make that CONTROL) tendencies tend to get a little out of hand. It's not that I need to control others, but I really expend a lot of energy trying to make sure every thing's just perfect. When it doesn't need to be. The kitchen is put back together, the gifts are mostly wrapped, the house is passably clean and the things that really matter . . . time with those we love . . . will be welcomed over the next few days.

So thanks, Mike, for the surprise that is way cooler than ice cubes! The gift of your precious time and a lesson to boot!

Things I Don't Get

2007-12-20T09:38:00.001-05:00

Some things just make me scratch my head in wonder, especially around this time of year:

Inflatable lawn decorations that mostly just look like oversized deflated balloons strewn about the lawn, except for the few hours each night they "come alive." They're kind of freaky, aren't they? But put a giant inflatable snow globe out there and suddenly it all comes together. Not!
Tissue paper. I hate the whole tissue paper thing. Why do we need to use tissue paper when wrapping gifts in perfectly good clean boxes and bags? It just gets thrown away, right? Unless you're like my husband who insists we save boxes (good idea) and tissue paper (kind of annoying). I'm going to see if I can get away without the tissue paper this year on the very few clothing articles I'm giving as gifts!
Stockings. Who ever got the crazy idea to hide stuff in giant oversized socks? I know, it has its roots in tradition but honestly . . . do we still need to hang socks around the house?
The day after Christmas. I swear, some people live for this day. Why? To stand in line to return and exchange things because everything's marked down after Christmas? I know - I worked retail in a department store one Christmas - never again. People literally told me on Christmas eve that they'd be back the day after to exchange things so they could get a better deal! Go figure.
Giving to get. By this I mean those super deals where YOU get something for yourself when you spend so much money. You know - buy $100 in gift cards and get a $20 gift card for yourself. Huh? Even Christian organizations do this . . . when you call now and pledge so much money, we'll send you a really nice calendar that you really don't need but we'll send it anyways cuz we're just nice that way and besides we have 5000 extra we need to get rid of. Really now, is it about the giving or the getting?

Now lest you think I'm a total Grinch, let me share a few things I totally "get" about Christmas.

Olives. It's the one time a year I can eat entire cans of black olives and not feel bad (well, a little sick, yes but no guilt!)
Nut roll. Nuff said!
Starbuck's gift cards. Sorry but you can never have too many of these.
Family Christmas newsletters. I know these have taken their share of bashing over the years but I truly love hearing what's going on in people's lives and hey, if Christmas is the time they feel compelled to share . . . bring it on! BTW . . . I still hear from my dear 7th grade teacher Mr. Witt every year. Well, actually it's his wife that sends a handwritten card updating me on their family doings. What a blessing to keep in touch with people, even if it only happens at Christmas.
Kenny G "Miracles" CD playing on Christmas eve, sitting with Mike in front of the Christmas tree (which is barely decorated this year but with the lights on, you can hardly tell!) Just sitting, savoring the moment . . . until he can't take it anymore and the TV goes back on!

When Less Is More

2007-12-17T10:28:00.000-05:00

There something unsettling about the consumerist mentality that rears its ugliest head this time of year. And most of us will admit, there's something unsatisfying about it all. At least for me, it's been an increasing realization over the past few years, that when all the fluff has been stripped away, when the wrappings and the trappings have been put aside, the stuff doesn't really matter at all. It's not often I blog about a sermon but two words from yesterday's message keep ringing in my head: consume less. A timely message indeed.

The focus of the message flipped between a look at what a consumerist society we've become, to Mary and Joseph, and what they gave up in obedience to God's plan. For Joseph, it meant giving up his rights, his pride, his social standing. Mary gave her very body to carry the Son of God. In short, they realized it was not about them. As I consider how to live out this idea of consuming less, it seems I must flip the phrase around and ask a few more questions:

What consumes me? What passions fuel my thoughts and drive my actions? And what if I were less consumed with me? If that were the case, wouldn't I naturally consume less? To me, the idea of consuming less ultimately implies a letting go of things temporal and taking hold of the eternal.

Christ came to change the way we relate to God. Shouldn't our celebration of his birth change the way we live? Right now, all I have is questions but hopefully the coming year will bring some answers.

Word of the Season: Wait

2007-12-11T09:00:00.001-05:00

I've been torn between a "Word of the Week" post (but couldn't decide on a word), and a post about Advent. But it seems the Word of the Week takes care of both. Wait. And so a compromise, a word for the season.

Advent is a relatively new idea to me but over the past few years has become a beautiful and meaningful part of my holiday observance. Actually it's more like Christmas itself now has a proper place, a frame of reference within the bigger picture. It puts all the prophecies in perspective. And it speaks to me today, as I learn to wait, not only for the celebration of his birth, not only his coming again, but everyday, learning to wait on God and what he has for me to learn and do.

And yet . . . how do we wait? Is waiting passive? Or is it active? Is it a time to sit back and rest and do nothing? Or is it a time of doing, of moving ahead in obedience, of learning and preparation of our own hearts? Or is it both?

Having watched my sister go through five pregnancies, it seems waiting involves both. There was the doing - the planning, picking of names, preparing the nursery. And yet, I'm sure she'd say the resting was also important. The times of just praying and getting used to the idea, first of being a parent, then thinking about how each addition would change their family dynamic. Yes, it seems waiting well involves both a sense of expectation as well as preparation.

My last thought about waiting. I always thought of myself as a patient person. I'm not sure patience can be equated with waiting though. And as I've pondered this word over the past few days, I'm certain that waiting is more a skill to be learned than an innate character trait.

So that's it - the Word of the Season. What's on my mind these days! Something for us all to ponder during this season: how are you waiting?

1923 and Girl's Night In

2007-12-07T19:36:00.001-05:00

Some interesting events of 1923:

March 1 USS Connecticut decommissioned.
March 2 - Time Magazine hits newsstands for the first time.
April - End of Irish Civil War.
The House that Ruth Built: Yankee Stadium opens in New York City.
June 18 - Etna volcano erupts - 60,000 made homeless.
July 19-20 night - Assassination of Pancho Villa.
August 2 - Warren G. Harding, 29th President of the United States, (1921 - 1923) dies in office and is succeeded by Calvin Coolidge (1923-1929).
September 10 - Ireland joins League of Nations.
November 12- Her Highness Princess Maud of Fife marries Captain Charles Alexander Carnegie in Wellington Barracks, London.
December 12 - In Italy, the Po river dam bursts - 600 dead.
Rainbow Trout introduced into the upper Firehole River in Yellowstone National Park

But wait . . . this post is not about the year 1923! It's about the number of emails in my inbox (work). HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN??? My friend Katrina will be so ashamed of me. Now I do manage my personal email much better, thanks to her challenge - I keep it to 20 or less usually and the ones in my inbox are there for a reason.

Enough about email though. For the first time in a while, I was home tonight before 6:30pm. Mike started a fire in the wood stove before he left to go help a buddy (gotta love those guy things!) and I'm fixing to hang out in front of the fire tonight and watch The Wool Cap (a remake of Gigot which I've never seen). I'll probably start to drag out the Christmas stuff while I'm at it. The tree will have to wait until Mike is around. It's kind of a tradition for me to put it up on Sunday nights during the football game, taking time to reminisce about the various ornaments we've picked up on vacation, and read through our growing pile of Christmas cards we've given each other over the years. The ornament thing has become a fun cheap vacation souvenir thing for us, and the cards . . . well it's just a silly tradition but we always mark each card with the year and it's fun to look back over the years and remember stuff.

No More Lies

2007-12-07T07:37:00.000-05:00

Still poking my way through Ephesians. Wow, I just looked back and I've been reading Ephesians since July, interspersed with the Psalms and different scripture passages associated with the weekly messages at church. I felt like I was cruising right along, reveling in glorious passages like the following verses from Chapter 1:

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.

Chapter 2 was reassuring - that because of Christ, I belong - plain and simple. Chapter 3 was enlightening - full of good words like grace and power and freedom and confidence.

And then I hit Chapter 4. Or it hit me - still not sure which is accurate! Ever come to one of those passages in scripture that just won't let you go? Starting out in vs. 1-16 with this idea of calling, or vocation (which is a beautiful word) that Paul speaks of, followed by a challenge to "grow up in Christ." And then, as if God knew I wasn't getting it on my own, two weeks of messages at church were focused on this passage - thanks God!

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Coming down to verse 25 now, Paul gets very practical. How does all this look in our daily lives? And he starts with this challenge:

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Huh? I think the KJV puts it this way: Lie not one to another. Pretty basic, isn't it? I like how the Message puts it:

What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ's body we're all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.

Um. Ouch! So I've been thinking about this lying thing lately. Wondering what kind of lying the first century Christians struggled with, such that Paul needed to come right out and admonish them to stop. I have a feeling it went a little deeper than "no, I didn't take any cookies from the cookie jar." And I know it goes deeper for us today. Hasn't this issue of truth-telling been the great struggle since Eve's conversation with the serpent back in the garden?

So what kind of falsehoods do we need to put off? And how do we speak truth to our neighbor? Is it just the "speaking the truth in love" type of truth - "you've got spinach in your teeth" - that kind of truth we dare to share with someone we love? Have you ever done that and what was the outcome? What about being honest about ourselves with one another? And what about this idea of lying to ourselves - why and how do we do that? (I thought it was a bit of a stretch at first, that phrasing from the Message, but then if we are really members of one body, isn't lying to ourselves connected with being honest with each other?)

These are just questions - things I'm pondering. I'd like some input here if you have any thoughts. Since I don't have comments enabled (maybe in January) shoot me an email and I'll work them into a follow-up post on this topic (I won't use any names, just a first initial).

The Kindness of God

2007-12-05T10:07:00.000-05:00

I'm in my car for over an hour every day, and this is my primary time for worship and reflection. Once again I find myself contemplating some words from a Chris Tomlin song Kindness from his album Live:

Open up the skies of mercy
And rain down the cleansing flood
Healing waters rise around us
Hear our cries lord let 'em rise
Open up the skies of mercy
And rain down the cleansing flood
Healing waters rise around us
Hear our cries lord let 'em rise

It's your kindness lord
That leads us to repentance
Your favor lord, is our desire
It's your beauty lord
That makes us stand in silence
Your love
Your love
Is better than life

I've been thinking about this kindness of God over the past few days. It's one of those concepts that I can't quite get my head around. It goes along with the idea of grace that I posted about recently, that God is for us. But this being for us, this kindness does more than just make us feel secure and accepted. It changes us, transforms us. It leads us to repent, to change our ways, what we could not otherwise do on our own.

Looking this phrase up online, I found it (among other places) in Romans 2:

Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?

I can't ignore the first part of that verse: how do I show contempt for God's kindness? It seems preposterous, that I would thumb my nose at God's goodness towards me. And yet the context seems to indicate that's exactly what I do when I dare pass judgment on others, when I fail to see others as Jesus does. Yikes. Once again, I am reminded that my relationship with God goes hand in hand with how I relate to others.

The kindness of God. It's for you. It's for me. It's for everyone, without partiality. Do we believe it? Accept it for ourselves? Live in the wonder of it? Share it with others?

This and That and a Review

2007-11-30T03:56:00.000-05:00

I can't sleep. So I might as well blog, right? Never mind that in two hours I need to get up for what promises to be at least a ten hour day, probably twelve, given that it's month end. Someone in our group is retiring today after thirty-nine years with the company. We're thrilled for him, of course. But so far it doesn't look like he's being replaced, and we're starting to realize he did way more than we ever realized. Why oh why don't we appreciate people until it's too late?! Prayers for sanity would be appreciated.

If nothing else, this is forcing me to really simplify Christmas this year. Although I've never been one to go overboard (one friend was amazed that I don't even like to put up my tree until a week or two before Christmas), I usually do have most of my shopping done by now. For one simple reason: December is for baking! And I will not let the holidays slide by without making at least two or three batches of nut rolls. Mmm, just the thought of working with that wonderful dough, wrapping them up to give as gifts and then a slice or two with butter on Christmas transports me to a pretty good place!

I've been meaning to review a good book I read a month or so ago: The Jesus Creed, by Scot McKnight. Unfortunately I returned the book to the library before I could review it properly. Nevertheless, several ideas lingered with me that are worth sharing.

The premise of the book is that the command found in Deuteronomy to "love the Lord thy God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength" was central to the Judaic belief system. More than just some nice sounding words to hang on a plaque inside the family home, these words were drilled into the hearts and mind of Jews from the time they were children. Then along comes Jesus and expands upon that creed by adding the phrase "and your neighbor as yourself." According to McKnight, that was the creed by which Jesus lived and the rest of the book illustrates that point with stories from Jesus' life. A few words come to mind from my reading:

Kingdom: Scot puts forth the best idea I've ever heard about the kingdom of God and/or heaven; that is, kingdom as society. i.e. the kingdom of God consists of all of those who have trusted Christ. It's more than just something to look forward to someday. It's here. It's now. And it should change the way we live.

Table: Scot points out how often people gathered with Jesus to share a meal. Simple concept. But this was revolutionary in Jesus' day, that a teacher such as Jesus would welcome the least desirable members of society into such an intimate setting. How welcoming are we of others?

Women: As I read the stories of women whom Jesus spent time with during his time here on earth, one thought stood out to me. That Jesus thought a lot more highly of women than many of us do about ourselves and our roles. 'Nuff said.

Lastly, forgiveness: Scot points out that, with the exception of the story of Joseph forgiving his brothers, forgiveness in the OT was mostly about the vertical relationship between God and man. Jesus comes along and says that same forgiveness we receive from God needs to be extended to one another. A totally different way of relating to others.

For the past two years, I've enjoyed poking my way through one of the gospels over a period of several months. This year it was Mark; last year it was John. So a book that highlighted the ministry and mission of Jesus was a real treat for me. A few things in this book made me scratch my head and wonder if I agreed, but I'm okay with that. If my reading doesn't stretch me and challenge me to think at times, what's the point? Overall, this was one of those paradigm-shifters - a very worthwhile read.

Pairs Well With . . .

2007-11-26T23:10:00.000-05:00

I have to laugh at the power of suggestion that restaurants and coffee shops put forth when they tell you what wine or dessert "pairs well with" a particular meal or blend of coffee. Yet today as I popped in an old standby favorite worship CD, I thought to myself this pairs well with what I'm reading right now.

What I'm listening to: Revival In Belfast II by Robin Mark, and especially this song "Work A Miracle in My Heart."

We are called to be prophets to this nation,
To be the word of God in every situation;
Change my heart, change my heart today.
Who'll be the salt
If the salt should lose its flavour?
Who'll be the salt
If the salt should lose its flavour?
Change my heart, change my heart today.

Lord, Loose the chains of opression;
Lord, set the captives free.
Lord, fill my heart with Your compassion:
shine Your light, shine Your light,
shine Your light through me.

Work a miracle in my heart,
work a miracle in my heart,
work a miracle in my heart, O Lord, today.

Lord, take all of my lies, and all of my greed;
Let me be a sacrifice
For those who are in need.
Change my heart, change my heart today.
Lord, without Your power
It's all just good intentions;
Lord, without Your grace
Who could find redemption?
Change my heart, change my heart today.

Pairs well with . . . Celtic Daily Prayer. Praying certain written prayers has added a new dimension to my prayer life over the past few months. Far from being superficial and rote, the prayers in Celtic Daily Prayer are rooted in the prayers we read through out scripture. Starting with the Morning Prayer each morning helps me settle into a time of quiet before spending time in God's Word. And stopping to read and pray the words of the Evening Prayer at the end of my day helps me remember to slow down and reflect on God's presence in my life through out that day. In no way has this replaced my personal prayer time, only enhanced it. In addition to providing a helpful daily prayer focus and devotional reading, being of Irish heritage I especially enjoy the interesting tidbits about the early Christians of the Celtic era.

Like decaf Komodo Dragon with Chocolate Cinnamon bread, I'm enjoying these two complementary blessings these days.

Eight Things

2007-11-24T07:43:00.000-05:00

My friend Bev (and she's a FIRL too!) at Scratchin' the Surface posted this meme and I thought it a good way to jump start the post-holiday idea deficit (that's code for I've eaten entirely too much and had way too much coffee and stayed up way too late to come up with anything worthwhile right now!)

Eight Things I'm Passionate About
Reading, mostly non-fiction these days
Writing
Really good coffee
Peaceful quiet mornings
Baking (so glad Christmas is here, giving me a good excuse to bake!)
The chance to be creative
Learning about spiritual growth
Really good worship music

Eight Things To Do Before I Die
Get published(!)
Visit Ireland and Scotland
Spend a whole lot more time with my nieces and nephews
Learn to knit well
Read everything Madeleine L'Engle ever wrote
Learn to bone out a turkey and make turkey roll
Finish all the projects I've ever begun
Go to a Chris Tomlin concert

Eight Things I Say Often
Holy Pete!
Unbelievable!
I don't have time to worry about . . .
God is so good
I don't know, what do you want to do, Marty?
And your point is?
Now what did I come down here to get?
Gyver, where are you supposed to be with that toy?

Eight Books I've Read Recently
The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
Abba's Child by Brennan Manning
Listen by Keri Wyatt Kent
1,001 Low-fat Soups & Stews
How People Grow by Cloud & Townsend
Founding Mothers by Cokie Roberts
Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell
The Journey of Desire by John Eldredge

Eight Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over
I Can't Smile Without You (yes, that's Barry!)
My Endless Love by Eddie Rabbit & Crystal Gayle
The Soundtrack from Dragonheart
Indescribable by Chris Tomlin
Glory to the King by Matthew Ward
Anything from Jim Brickman on The Gift CD
Made to Worship by Chris Tomlin
The Heart of Worship

Eight Things That Attract Me to my Best Friend
His sincere blue eyes
His integrity
His tender heart
His wacky sense of humor
His loyalty to his friends and devotion to his family
His sensitivity to the needs of others
His appreciation for anything I cook (well, almost anything)
His ability to figure out and fix just about anything

Eight Things I've Learned This Year
Not to take myself too seriously
I'm too much of a perfectionist
The importance of locking my car doors!
God always provides
How to cast on, knit and purl - much more to learn
The priceless value of a true friend
How much I don't know about living the Christian life
How important it is to just be quiet and listen to God . . . often

If your fishing for fodder for your next post, consider yourself tagged!

Pre-Holiday Thoughts

2007-11-21T00:00:00.000-05:00

Are you merely putting on your game face for the holiday season, wondering how you're going to get through it all?

Perhaps you're wondering where the physical strength will come from to tackle the cleaning you need to do or lug that huge bird into a roasting pan on Thanksgiving morning.

Perhaps you're feeling mentally and emotionally drained at the thought of family get-togethers, which can be just plain stressful at times, but more so when you're supposed to welcome them with a smile on your face, just because it's the holiday.

Maybe you're nervous about hosting a crowd for the first time and wondering if your efforts will be good enough.

Perhaps you're wondering where the finances will come from, even just to feed a few extra mouths.

Are you dreading the travel, wondering how the kids will hold up with the car trip and missed naps, or still thinking of all you have to do to get ready to go away?

Perhaps you're already feeling the pressure of the Christmas season, pressure to go and do and shop and buy and be . . . expectations thrust on us from without . . . that conflict with who we are in Christ.

Or maybe you're dreading the thought of being alone on yet another holiday.

Then let me share these words from my reading this morning, in hopes that they will bless and lift your spirits, as they have mine:

Even though the day be laden
and my task dreary
and my strength small,
a song keeps singing
in my heart.
For I know that I am Thine.
I am part of Thee.
Thou art kin to me,
and all my times
are in Thy hand. Alistar MacClean (from Celtic Daily Prayer)

I know this is a rather strange holiday post. There'll be plenty of time for thankful thoughts and sharing memories. But it's no secret that holidays can be a most stressful time of year, even for those of us who know the Lord and the "reason for the season." So maybe a better starting point is just admitting our need and letting God take it from there.

Word of the Week: Grace

2007-11-19T09:30:00.000-05:00

I wanted to title this post "Living in Grace." Sounds lovely, doesn't it? Only thing it, it wouldn't be quite honest. Let me explain.

My mom tells me that when I was a baby, and she couldn't get me to sleep, all she and my dad had to do was pop me in the car and go for a drive. (No doubt that contributes to my inability as an adult to stay awake in a moving vehicle. I really strive to do so when I'm behind the wheel!) Although I experienced many a midnight ride, I was unaware at the time. I was there, but not.

So it's been with the work of grace in my life. Have I been the recipient of grace? Absolutely. Can I recite the definition and many scriptures on the subject? Since I was a child. Have I been living in it – aware of God’s grace? I have to admit that I never really grasped the idea of grace, or gave it much thought, for that matter. In the last week or so, however, God has brought me face to face with the word grace many times over - through songs, scripture and the words of others. And that's usually a cue for me to pay attention. Hence, the word of the week (or perhaps month or year).

In a book I'm reading*, I just finished a chapter entitled (not surprisingly) The God of Grace. This statement jumped out at me: “Grace that leads to true life transformation is one of unmerited favor – the understanding that God is truly for us and that he will provide what we cannot provide for ourselves. Grace means that we receive the gifts we need for growth to occur.”

I was reminded in an email recently that God's work in my heart is a gift of grace. Even the ability on my part to cooperate with God's work is a gift. Likewise, I was encouraged to share this grace as well. I love to be challenged in my thinking, and I certainly was in this case. My immediate realization was that grace is always available to me, in any given situation. Several questions come to mind: what do I do with that grace? Do I accept the grace that is offered to me? And what does it mean about my relationship with God if I choose not to avail myself of it? And what holds me back from sharing it?

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, it seems fitting to be reminded to receive and live in the grace that God gives us, as well as to extend it to others, in big ways and small.

Grace. It's a good word!

How People Grow by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Shut Up and Eat It!

2007-11-17T15:23:00.001-05:00

For me, blogging is like making soup. It's important to get the right flavors together . . . and give them time to marry. You can't rush good soup. And I can't just toss out a post until it's "soup."

I haven't felt like blogging much in the past few days. But I did feel like making soup today. (And usually when I'm cooking is when the posts come together - go figure!) So I thought I'd make some Manhattan clam chowder. Mmm. I sauteed the vegetables in some butter, added some wine and transferred that all to my crockpot, since I need my stove to start the stuffing for Thanksgiving.

I couldn't find my usual cans of chopped clams at the store and minced clams just don't do anything for me - I don't like having to guess if there really are clams in my chowder or merely the flavor of one! Never one to downgrade, I opted for the "fancy select baby clams." Opened them up and dumped them in the saucepan to saute for a bit - ugh!

Now I am not a squeamish person. Not really. I am the chief bug and spider killer in our house and I don't faint at the sight of blood. But I have always had this thing about ocean life. It freaks me out. Yet there in my saucepan were these whole little creatures that used to be alive! Fancy, my foot! I'm certain they belong in an aquarium somewhere - not in my soup!

Now what do I do? Literally, I thought about dumping them and running to another store to get my chopped clams. But I can't waste money like that, and besides - there's that stuffing to tend to!

So I said to myself, "Shut up and eat it!" And I will, when it's soup (or chowder, or mass murder of tiny little mollusks - whatever you want to call it!) And next time I'll remember, bigger is certainly not always better!

And see . . . I told you I can always cook up a post when I'm making soup!

Overwhelmed by Love

2007-11-12T09:23:00.001-05:00

"How was your weekend?" my coworker asked.

I wonder if she'd understand if I responded, "Overwhelmed by love."

- Feeling loved by my husband who has been so undemanding these last few weeks when I've been working long hours. Thankful he never asks "when are you going to vacuum?" or complains about leftovers! He did dishes twice this weekend and laundry was a team effort.
- Feeling loved by my sister as we spent some time together Saturday afternoon. I love how our hearts are always close even though we live too far apart (okay, it's only an hour but still too far!)
- Feeling loved by my parents whose eyes light up whenever they see me (and inevitably my dad start whistling "our song" - wouldn't you like to know!)
- Feeling loved by several friends, new and old, who have reached out to me in big ways and small lately. Thankful for the gift of their friendship and the iron-sharpening relationships we share.
- Feeling loved and blessed by my community of faith (yes, I think I can say that now).
- And feeling especially loved by my God and King. I've been listening to these lyrics by Chris Tomlin lately from his song "How Can I Keep From Singing" on his album, See the Morning.

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

After that CD died on the way to church yesterday morning, I started listening to his " Live" CD (and I'm usually not a fan of "live" recordings) and was so blessed by these lyrics from the song, "Indescribable." Do you think listening to the same song over and over again wears out the CD?

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
INCOMPARABLE, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

I know it's about loving well, as well as being loved, but being loved helps us love well, don't you agree? I hope you too are feeling loved today, and seize any opportunities God brings your way to love well!

Snorting and Snoring

2007-11-08T23:00:00.000-05:00

Most of you don't know that I have two little boys. Yes, I do. Never mind that one is six months older than me and the other weighs about sixteen pounds and is covered with fur. These are the two little boys that live at my house.

Bedtime at our house is not much unlike bedtime with a house full of kids. There are snacks to be had and that one last drink of water. There's all kinds of putzing around, some chatting - anything to delay the inevitable lights out. Because the older one makes these a priority, the little one has decided to follow suit. Go figure.

But tonight, the little one (and yes, we're the kind of people that gasp! let our dog sleep with us!) really went to town. He's picked up this strange habit of hiding his Milkbone biscuit snacks until later. Do you know how annoying it is to step on one of those in the middle of the night?

Well, tonight he decided he must have that snack before he could go to bed. Only problem is I had picked it up earlier and placed it safely on the dresser, where bare feet do not tread! The older boy is on his way to la-la land, having embedded ear plugs into his ears. Good thing because the noises the little guy made looking for that treat were amazing. Um, kind of like a hyperventilating pig, snorting and nosing all over - "where'd I put that thing!" When he gets something in his mind, he cannot be distracted.

Finally, I just got up and gave him the darn thing. I mean, what's worse - the snuffling noises or the crunching? After the crunching was over, the snuffling continued until every last little crumb was gone. Then we needed a big noisy drink of water, followed by a few proud belches. At last - he's ready for bed. It's about time. He plops himself down between us with this oh so shameful look, as if he's eaten the cookies left out for Santa or something! Then we needed belly rubs and assurances that he's the best little boy in the world. Finally, he made his way towards our pillows, indicating he's ready to crawl under the covers, and he kind of collapsed by my feet.

He was promptly sawing logs within two minutes, soon joined by the other little boy. And I'm out here on the couch, typing this post! What does that tell you!

More Thoughts on Listening

2007-11-07T08:21:00.001-05:00

Just the other day I realized that I tend to submerse myself in that which I feel strongly about, to the exclusion of that with which I disagree. Now I believe there's value in feeding my mind and soul with good things, but this realization made me pause and think - am I as open-minded as I think I am? Can I, for instance, read a book by an author, even and perhaps especially, a Christian author about whom I might have some misgivings? Can I be open to someone's very different political opinions . . . instead of pulling the "I don't like conflict card" and tuning them out? Can I listen to others and learn from them or perhaps at least learn what makes them tick, and value them as a person, no matter what their views or opinions might be?

And then I read this quote on my Starbucks cup this morning:

"You can learn a lot more from listening than you can from talking. Find someone with whom you don't agree in the slightest and ask them to explain themselves at length. Then take a seat, shut your mouth, and don't argue back. It's physically impossible to listen with your mouth open." John Moe

Just something I'm thinking about today.

Falling Leaves

2007-11-04T22:37:00.000-05:00

After church last week, I headed for the nearby trail, hoping to get at least one more walk in before the leaves are all gone. A question lingered in my mind after the message at church: "How bad do you want it? How deep is your desire to grow?" A few thoughts came to mind as I walked along, picking up leaves that appealed to me.

Abandon. That's how the leaves fall. They just let go. Am I willing to let go? and what do I need to let go of?

Face down. See that oak leaf on top there? It's face down. All the oak leaves for some reason seemed to land in this face down position. Am I willing to be face down before God? Hmm. I've had a CD called Facedown on my Amazon.com list for some time now; perhaps it's time to go ahead and spring for it (absolutely no pun intended!)

I've always been fascinated by the whole leaf-changing thing, from the time the first blush of fall appears in the multi-colored patchwork of treed hillsides to when the last leaf relinquishes its clinging grip on the the mother tree. When I was a kid, I took great pleasure in decorating our front window for fall, with leaves I'd gathered from our yard. Then I went through the whole pressing leaves stage . . . for what?

I started to do so with the pile in the picture above and then I realized, no . . . there will be more leaves next year. I let them decorate my buffet for the last week, in their natural brilliant state. Now they look rather different, kind of curled up and colors fading. I'll probably toss them in the next day or so.

I'm reminded when I look at these leaves that change is a process. It's not overnight. We may get a hint of it first, if we're paying attention to the stirrings of our heart. We may experience a feeling of discontent or struggle, all before we realize God is doing something in our lives. And then, like the fall foilage at its peak, we begin to embrace the changes, secure in the knowledge that God is at work. And then we move into acceptance, and we are changed. I'm oh so glad I don't wake up one September morning and find the leaves changed overnight. And I'm just as thankful that God's work in our lives is a gentle process.

Word of the Week: Listen

2007-10-31T20:03:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I have so many thoughts bouncing through my head that it really takes an effort to just be quiet and listen. Being quiet is one thing; intentional listening is another. And yet I'm finding out that, far from being a state of passivity, active listening involves some questions. Sometimes in response to the stirrings in my heart, it does good to ask "God, what are you trying to teach me? What are you wanting me to do?"

I notice I tend to block out negative feelings and even beat myself up for what I'm thinking or feeling. They are, after all, negative . . . and we've been (or at least I've been) conditioned to think "rejoice in the Lord always . . . " - stuff the feelings and move on. Instead I've been trying to just listen to what's going on in my heart. Why am I frustrated? What's my deep longing here? What would God have me do? And what would that be like? I'm learning to:

Listen to discern
Listen patiently
Listen and obey

I notice when I do stop to listen, God doesn't blow me off - imagine that! He's totally okay with me bringing even the negative parts of myself to him. Sometimes it takes another person to help in this listening process, and I'm thankful for people in my life who do that. And I notice the more I listen to my own life, the more I'm learning to listen attentively to those around me.

God is already listening . . . why don't we join him?

A helpful resource for me has been a book I reviewed previously, entitled Listen: Finding God in the Story of Your Life, by Keri Wyatt Kent. I highly recommend this book!

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness. James Thurber

"Eat Mor Chikin"

2007-10-31T00:35:00.000-04:00

Chick-Fil-A is pretty smart, enlisting the help of the poor maligned cow himself to encourage us to "eat more chikin!" I realize, it's simply a marketing strategy but you gotta admit, it's a pretty clever one. It's one I wish politicians would use, rather than resorting to negative campaigning. (Is it possible cows are smarter than most politicians?)

Last year, I decided to make some major changes in my eating habits. I reached a turning point when I stopped worrying about what not to eat and began focusing on the good stuff. When I feel myself getting off track, I don't think about what I need to cut out. I refocus on how to get more good into my diet. When's the last time I had a fresh salad? An apple? Perhaps a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast beats chocolate cinnamon bread or a Krispy Kreme donut for breakfast. And those ccaaafffeeeiine jitters? Obviously I need to drink a little more water (okay, make that a lot more water). The more I intentionally plan to eat right, the easier it becomes and the more good foods become the mainstay of my diet.

In the same way, I am finding the “eat more chikin” principle true in the spiritual arena. A lot of the Christian life tends to be focused on "negative campaigning," so to speak. Make no mistake, there are things we need to turn away from or "put off," as Paul encourages us to do. And we're called to abstain from food (fasting) and work (resting) at times. But the focus is not what we turn from but rather what we're turning to.

Maybe it's oversimplification, but it seems the more I spend my time filling myself up with good things, in the physical and emotional realms, as well as the spiritual realm, the less room there is for those things that drag me down. The challenge is prayerfully and intentionally making those good things a regular fixture in my life.

I Got Nothing

2007-10-28T17:30:00.000-04:00

Lots of thoughts; nothing coming together yet. But that's okay, because my sweet friend Katrina has a wonderful post about outriggers and canoes . . . well, just trust me and go read it, okay?

Standing and Pedaling

2007-10-24T11:56:00.001-04:00

So I just can't seem to get the hang of standing and pedaling while riding my bike. You know, that technique that would give you a bit of extra power when tackling a hill (or in my case, the smallest of grades!)

Anyways, while enjoying a bike ride Sunday, I attempted again to get the hang of this - forget it. I just can't do it! I can't risk falling! But for some reason, it brought to mind that verse in Romans 5:1-2 that is paraphrased so beautifully in the Message: By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. (Romans 5:1-2 MSG)

Just a few thoughts tossed around as I pedaled:

1) Am I able to stand tall . . . am I becoming confident in the grace of God to face each day, each next step? As with everything else in our lives, it's a day-by-day, step-by-step process.
2) Am I helping others stand tall? Am I praying for and encouraging others in their walk? The picture of Moses standing tall because Aaron and Hur supported him comes to mind . . . a beautiful picture of the body of Christ working together!
3) (This is the hardest one for me) Am I able to accept the help of others in learning to stand tall . . . in my daily walk? Can I ask for and welcome the prayers, advice and help of others when needed?

Standing tall . . . bold and confident . . . we have every reason to do so in Christ!

One Thing

2007-10-21T22:02:00.000-04:00

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by all the needs around you and all the causes striving to meet those needs? Entire families displaced by catastrophes and natural disasters. Starving children at home and abroad. Homeless people sleeping under the very bridges we drive across on our way to work. Single mothers struggling to make ends meet. Grown men fighting the power of addiction on a daily basis. It's almost easier to look away than it is to ponder what God would have us do. Where do we begin?

One night this summer, I was with a friend when she got a phone call from someone asking for money, which she knew would be used to satisfy a substance addiction. Wisely she recognized the vulnerability of this situation and referred the caller to a pastor. Nevertheless, as we drove through her neighborhood which skirts some of the roughest parts of our city, we pondered the question, "What can we do?"

I read through at least one of the gospels every year and am always struck by the integration of Jesus' social outreach with his preaching/teaching ministry. Almost everywhere you find him healing someone, casting out demons or raising someone from the dead. Even after long days of teaching, he was sensitive enough to the physical needs of the crowd - enough to ensure their hunger was satisfied. From the gospels, we see that Jesus cares about the whole person. Shouldn't that be our focus as well? But again, the question comes - where do we begin?

The answer, I think, is made plain in Jesus' approach to ministry. He didn't wave his hand over the crowds and forgive sins or heal the sick en mass. No, he healed them one at a time. He broke bread and with the help of his disciples, fed the multitudes one person at a time. And he forgave their sins, one person at a time, extending his hand to them and inviting them into his kingdom.

What can we do? Just one thing. Your one thing will look different from my one thing. Maybe it will only ever be one thing, one time or perhaps it will be one thing over and over again. Perhaps one thing will turn into many things, inspiring others by our example. But we have to start somewhere. We have to look at the needs and face the facts. And we have to be willing.

One thing. What will it be? What does God want? And am I willing? That's what I'm asking myself these days.

Strength Will Rise

2007-10-18T20:52:00.001-04:00

What I'm listening to - more Chris Tomlin. Sometimes when I read the Bible and come upon a familiar or even a tough verse, I find it helpful to revert the sentence order. It's kind of like hitting refresh on your computer screen or changing up some outfits. A fresh face on an old familiar standby. For example, instead of "For God so loved the world" I try it as "the world was so loved by God." That begs a question: how loved by God? To what extent and in what way?

I think that's kind of what the writer of this song did with Isaiah 40:31. Instead of "they that wait on the Lord will renew their strength" it reads "strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." Can't you just kind of picture strength rising, bubbling up inside you, as you wait on God? You may only have a hint of confidence at first, but as you continue to wait, strength continues to rise up within you, as a trickle of water turns into a running stream and then into a raging river, a force to be reckoned with.

"Everlasting God"

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

The Interlude

2007-10-17T22:51:00.000-04:00

Work has been a series of noisy crescendos, one after another. I'm neither a noise girl nor a crescendo girl. No Beethoven's Fifth for me. Just keep the music (and the work) moving along at a steady pace, with appropriate pauses so I can take it all in.

Anyways, a total God-thing happened today. I've taken over one of our most um, trying accounts, a large account in a difficult market with a reputation for demanding purchasing agents (yes, the market, not just this one particular customer). It goes like this: We try. We fail. Customer is not happy. We try to fix the problem. We create new ones. Customer is not happy.

I am new to the account. So is my contact. In spite of one failure after another of late, Mr. Customer has been amazingly gracious. This afternoon I had to give him a bit more bad news.

Me: I hate to tell you this but XXX (bad news). I'm really sorry.
Customer: Oh no! Don't tell me that! I'm going to have to shut myself in my office again with a book!
Me: Oh yeah? What are you reading? (Seizing the opportunity for a diversion from the issue at hand!) I usually read at lunch too.
Customer: Max Lucado's 3:16!
Me: (light bulb goes on!) Ahhh, sounds like we have similar tastes in reading.
Customer: Hmm, must be why we've managed to both be so nice in spite of this terrible situation!

Interlude: A short piece inserted between the parts of a longer composition

This was like an interlude in my day. A different tune. A little calming reminder that God is involved in every bit of our lives. Not standing off to the side, as an dispassionate observer, but intimately involved - right in the middle of it all.

The phone conversation ended and the discordant noise soon resumed. But all afternoon, strains of that interlude lingered, no doubt God's answer to prayers of a friend. A God-thing indeed.

Book Review: Under the Overpass

2007-10-14T21:39:00.000-04:00

ATTENTION: We interrupt the normal drivel found on this blog to recommend a great book, Under The Overpass.

"What if I stepped out of my comfortable life with nothing but God and put my faith to the test alongside of those who live with nothing every day?"

With that question on his heart, Mike Yankowski set out with his friend Sam to find the answers. It was a journey that would take him into the heart of six major cities over a five-month period, and one he undertook with nothing more than the clothes on his back, his Bible and journal, a guitar and a sleeping bag. Along the way, they lived alongside the homeless of each city, playing their guitars and panhandling to earn enough money for their next meal as well as bus transportation from city to city. Their eyes were opened to how those who "have" view those who "have not." They learned firsthand what it means to pray "give us this day our daily bread." They experienced both the generosity of some Christ-followers, as well as painful rejection by some churches and those who called themselves Christians.

Without putting his readers on a guilt trip, and free from any hint of self-righteousness, Mike recounts his experience in an engaging yet thought-provoking manner. He willingly acknowledges the part personal choice plays in the lives of those he encounters. He humbly admits that he struggled with the need for discernment on a daily basis: do you give to someone panhandling? And what can you give? After he returns to his former life - that of a well-provided-for college student, he reflects on the dangers of lacking nothing.

In the end, graciously and without preaching or moralizing, Mike simply encourages his readers to open their eyes and hearts to the love of God and how he would have us live it out. "As over-spiritualized as it might sound, I really do think that caring for the needy begins with loving God more completely. It's in knowing and responding to His amazing love for us that we begin to set our priorities straight."

I didn't realize until I was partway through it that it's actually considered teen reading (I order my library books online) - it's that easy of a read. I highly recommend this book, but fair warning: you'll probably be thinking about it for days afterward.

So Much and So Little

2007-10-12T10:15:00.000-04:00

So much to blog about; so little time. But here are some ideas swirling around in my brain:

Make & Take - mmm, birthday dinner at mom's this weekend and you won't believe what we're having!
Eat More Chikin - Not just Chick-Fil-A either!
My latest book buys - yum!
The Jesus Creed by Scot McKnight (a review)
Founding Mothers by Cokie Roberts (a review)
Church: Competitive or Cooperative?

So there. I've committed to blogging for at least another week or so!

Hope

2007-10-12T08:22:00.001-04:00

This picture says it all. You may think it nothing more than a cute little dog, guarding his toy. Nope. There's more. See that heater vent behind him? Well, the furnace has yet to kick on but it being a mite chilly here tonight, MacGyver knows . . . believes . . . that he will be warm again. And so in earnest expectation, he huddles in his favorite corner, waiting. And someone has sympathy on him and kicks the furnace on!

And just in case that wasn't enough cuteness for one day, here's the reason I'm always behind on my laundry:

Soft Edges

2007-10-09T13:15:00.001-04:00

My co-worker and I used to enjoy sharing stories about her mom and my grandma. The phrase we agreed as describing these women was "soft edges." Kind of evokes a feeling of a warm fleece blanket you bundle about you on a chilly winter evening, doesn't it? Do you know someone like that?

I know every person is different, based on their personality type and a host of other individualizing factors. Soft edges don't come naturally to me, but I think it's a quality I want to develop in my life. I want to make people feel at home and comfortable, even if it's just for a brief phone conversation with a customer at work. We think a lot about giving, but sometimes it's those intangible things, like our presence, that mean the most to others. And if that presence is welcoming and inviting, all the better.

Anyways, just thought I'd throw those words out there today. Give us all something to think about. Soft edges.

And a here's a good quote I've been using as my sig line in email:

"It's a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand." Madeleine L'Engle

Blessings!